Reminder: No Guy Is Worth Ruining Your Friendship Over

You meet a really great guy and sparks fly, but not just in your direction. Your best friend has the hots for the same guy as you — WTF? Well, he might be hot as hell and the first guy you’ve liked in a long time, but there’s no way he’s worth ruining your friendship. Here’s why your BFF should always win out:

  1. Guys come and go, but best friends are forever. How many guys have broken your heart? All of those times you were left crying into your pillow, your BFF was there to wipe away your tears. Those guys may have loved you for a few months, but as long as you don’t trade in your friendship for some guy, your best friend is going to love you forever — that’s a guarantee.
  2. If he divides your friendship, he’s not worth it. The right guy for you would never come between two friends. You like him and you love her, so why would should you have to give up the girl who’s always been by your side for a guy you just met? If he really cared about you, he wouldn’t come between you, even if that means you can’t be together.
  3. There will be other guys. “There are plenty of other fish in the sea” isn’t just a cliché, it’s the truth. Are you really so sure that you can’t find a guy that your best friend doesn’t also have feelings for? You both need to do what’s best for your friendship and put your feelings for this guy aside and move on to someone else.
  4. How would you feel if he chose her? And then how would you feel if she chose him over your friendship? You’d be heartbroken and you wouldn’t accept her reasoning, so don’t be a hypocrite. You wouldn’t like if she played you like that, so don’t do the same to her.
  5. You’ll get over the guy, but you’ll never get over losing your friend. Have you ever lost a best friend? It hurts like hell. Way more than losing some guy who didn’t treat you right. Best friends leave a mark on your heart that lasts forever. You’d move on from him, but you’d never stop missing her. Don’t put yourself through that pain.
  6. You’ll just end up resenting him. He’ll always be the reason you lost your friend. He’s the guy that came between the two of you, and even if you love him, you’ll always lay at least part of the blame on him. Even if she got over it and forgave you, things would never be the same. You’ll have lost all the trust in your friendship, and as hard as you try, it’ll never be like it was before you met him.
  7. Love shouldn’t be a competition… Especially not between friends. You both liked a boy and the best case scenario is you win the guy and lose your girl by ruining your friendship? That’s not right. Stop fighting with your girlfriends over guys. You need to band together and support each other instead of pitting your friends against you. You’re not better than anyone else and your bestie isn’t better than you, so stop making love so damn competitive.
  8. Do you really want that to be your love story? Do you want to tell your future kids about how you met their daddy when you won him from your best friend? Your love story should be full of joy, but if part of that tale was losing your BFF, it would just be full of pain. There’s no happily ever after here, because when you let a guy come between a friendship, it’s a tragedy.
  9. Is he really all that great anyway? Sure, he’s cute and funny and you get along well, but what makes him so special from any of the other guys you’ve liked in the past? He’s certainly not the only one of his kind, so why would you sacrifice the years of history you’ve built up with your extraordinary BFF for a guy who’s probably really only mediocre?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.