Reminder: You’re Not “Aggressive” Just Because Insecure Dudes Can’t Handle You

I get so tired of guys labeling strong, independent women as aggressive. Men who are direct and unapologetic never deal with that—they’re just applauded for taking charge and going after what they want. It’s total BS. Here’s why some guys just can’t handle badass, ambitious women like me (and you!):

1. THEY FEEL THREATENED. Some men view strong-minded women as aggressive because they feel threatened by us. Many feel that women are out to get them or that we’re trying to take over certain industries when that’s not the case. We just want to be treated equally and taken as seriously as men are in this world. Therefore, we have to be a bit creative in ensuring that our voices are heard.
2. THEIR EGOS CAN’T HANDLE IT. Some men are used to dealing with weak women who are totally dependent on them and would prefer it that way. Therefore, they aren’t able to handle a strong-minded woman who has her own thoughts and opinions; hence the aggressive label. Once a man deals with someone who allows them to steamroll over them and tell them what to do, everyone else is viewed as an obstacle. Consequently, many men feel intimidated by a strong woman because they’ve never had to deal with one before and don’t know how to handle it.
3. THEY DON’T HAVE ANYTHING GOING FOR THEM. Some men view me as aggressive because they’re unhappy with themselves and their lives. They see me, a strong, independent woman, trying to make moves and they’re simply jealous. Either they lack the motivation to do something with their own lives or they just don’t have the tools to be successful. Therefore, resentment comes in and I’m viewed as the aggressor.
4. THEY WANT US TO BE QUIET. Many men feel as though women should be seen and not heard. That’s certainly true in the workplace where women attempt to share ideas while men jump in attempting to “mansplain” over them. They’re not only intimidated by our knowledge, but they’re resentful of the fact that we may know more than them. However, instead of behaving like adults, many participate in feeble attempts to shut us up; which rarely work.
5. THEY HAVE ISSUES WITH A WOMAN IN POWER. There are some men who just can’t take seeing a woman on top. It really messes with their psyche and they aren’t able to handle it. There are many CEOs and CFOs who have male subordinates that envy the fact that they aren’t in a position of power. For them, it’s easy to label a woman as aggressive because they’re trying to make sense of how that powerful woman got to be where she is today.
6. THEY WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONES WINNING. Some men just can’t stand the competition. They like being the only available option and are annoyed by any woman who feels that she can hang tough. Many men want to be the only ones who are successful and living their lives to the fullest. They can’t handle someone else, especially a woman, giving them a run for their money.
7. They AREN’T HAPPY WITH THEMSELVES. Many men aren’t happy with themselves or their lot in life. Therefore, it’s easy to blame women stating that they’re too aggressive in getting what they want. Once again, that’s not the case. He can’t blame someone else for his own feelings of inadequacy. That’s something he needs to figure out and fix on his own.
8. THEY’RE USED TO DOING EVERYTHING BY THEMSELVES. There are a select few men who are so used to doing everything on their own that they can’t deal with relinquishing a bit of power to a woman. They may have been single for an extended amount of time or they’re just control freaks. Either way, some men are used to doing things on their own and view any woman who wants to assist as aggressive. They don’t want to give up the control they’ve been maintaining, so anyone who threatens that is viewed as the enemy.