Sometimes, it’s easy to want to give up on the idea of “The One,” especially if you’ve been single for a long time or keep dating a stream of people who turn out to be incompatible with you in every way possible. However, you shouldn’t lose faith just yet. They’re out there — you just haven’t found them yet.
- There are eight billion people in the world. If you live in a small town or run in a particular circle, it’s easy to forget that there are literally more people on this planet than the few dozen you seem to keep coming across. With such a big, wide world, it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to find the partner of your dreams straight away now, is it? These things take time.
- There are always going to be people you’re compatible with. Out of those eight billion people, there are always people who will be better suited to you romantically than others. Because of this, you don’t need to worry that you’ll never meet anybody special. You’ve had partners before and you will have partners again. Even if they turn out to be temporary, you’ll still learn an important lesson from every one of them.
- It’s not going to happen when you’re expecting it. I’m a big believer in fate. If you haven’t met your soulmate yet, it’s because you weren’t meant to. There, I said it. Even so, it will probably happen when you’re not actively looking for it. It did for me and it does for a lot of people out there.
- It can happen in unconventional ways. It turns out that my soulmate ended up being someone I met while traveling overseas and spoke to purely as a friend because I was in a relationship with someone else at the time. We lost touch when my then-relationship was breaking down but then got talking again months later and began a long-distance relationship. The rest, as they say, is history. Could I have written it? No. Did it completely catch me off-guard? Yes. But I wouldn’t change our love story for the world.
- Don’t be too picky while you’re waiting. While you’re waiting for your person, try to remember that no one’s perfect. To be honest, I wouldn’t have even thought to date my now-fiancé because I initially wrote him off due to his (lack of) fashion sense and the fact that he wasn’t much taller than me. It wasn’t until I got to know him extensively that I realized just how much he complemented me. As a result, I now consider him my best friend and equal.
- They might not be what you first thought they would be. My fiancé is completely different to anyone I’ve ever been with so the thought of being with him was completely terrifying at first. We become so used to the familiar that we often reject the unfamiliar, and my person surprised me in every way possible. I can’t tell you the number of times that I questioned if he was really the man for me before I let myself fall in love with him and be loved by him.
- You’ll recognize them when they come into your life. You’ll know when you meet the partner of your dreams because all your pre-existing fears will eventually disappear. You’ll feel at peace and be nothing but grateful that this person has come into your life. All the previous heartbreaks you went through simply won’t matter. In fact, you might be thankful for them because they led you to that moment—and your soulmate.
- Redefine “the partner of your dreams” if you need to. Realize that old traditions and societal pressure often dictate what “the partner of your dreams” should look like and how they should act. Having said that, a real person with their own thoughts, feelings, and way of doing things won’t always do what you want them to. Realistically, people are always going to disappoint you—that’s just human nature. However, the person you’re supposed to be with will make you want to be the best version of yourself without ever trying to change you. They’ll love and adore you while pushing you in ways no one has ever pushed you before. They’ll be silly and match your sense of humor, while still being able to talk to you about the deep, emotional stuff. In short: they’ll blow you away in ways you couldn’t even imagine. Get ready for the rollercoaster.
- Don’t give up. Finally, it’s important not to settle while you’re waiting for your dreamboat. Even though it’s tempting when you feel like life is ticking by and you’re not getting any younger, you deserve to find your soulmate just as much as the next person. And you will, if only you just keep the faith.