This Is How Research Says You’ll Meet Your Perfect Guy

If you’re wondering when Mr. Right will rock up, maybe you’re looking for him in all the wrong places. Here’s what you need to know about where science says you’re likely to find your future boyfriend.

  1. Stay in your comfort zone. Instead of heading out to parties and pubs, hang with your besties and you might find your dream guy. No, really. A study by Mic magazine found that 39 percent of relationships start because of mutual friends. Aha!
  2. Ask your friends. Seeing as though your friends can be such valuable resources when it comes to introducing you to a great guy, speak to them about the single dudes they know or just make it your mission to spend more time with them at their hangouts. This will not only refresh your social calendar but by going to different places, you immediately increase your chances of meeting new guys—whether they’re friends with your friends or not.
  3. There are benefits to friendly introductions. You have loads in common with your friends, and chances are you’re similar to some of their other friends. You might share some hobbies, goals and outlooks on life. Your friends could therefore help you get closer to likeminded people.
  4. Platonic can become more. The same study showed that when people met each other through friends, almost half of them started out as platonic friends. See, the friendzone doesn’t always have to be a dead-end. Starting out as friends can have many benefits, like helping you really get to know someone before you jump into a dating situation. Plus, if you’re good friends, that could create a really nice foundation for something more serious.
  5. The above study gets backed up. It’s not just this study that states you’re likely to find a romantic partner through mutual friends. A longitudinal study by sociologist Michael Rosenfeld tracked romance over the last 60-odd years and found that approximately 30 percent of relationships start with mutual friendships.
  6. It’s a good alternative to online dating. You swipe right and get disappointed again. Ugh. If you’re tired of dating apps, maybe doing things the old-fashioned way by hanging out with friends is a great idea to avoid dating burnout and perhaps even bring the fun back into dating.
  7. Delete the pressure. Dating online is frustrating sometimes. You end up on blind dates with people who don’t even seem like the same ones you were chatting to for weeks on Tinder. Dating through friends can remove some of that pressure because you get to meet potential dates in a stress-free way and in a group setting without feeling the nerves of being on a date.
  8. You get to “breeze.” Breezing is when you’re carefree about dating, not worrying or obsessing about it. It’s something we should all be doing more of and it can be achieved by dating through mutual friends. Your friends can help you feel out their male friends, giving you insight you need to know about them to prevent dating disasters from happening—and keep you chilled in the process.
  9. Dating feels more natural. There’s nothing natural about rating someone according to their pictures online and having conversations with them from behind a screen. Dating through mutual friends can help to make dating feel real again. Best of all, you get to see the guys in a social setting when they’re relaxed, instead of chatting to filtered pics all night long on a dating app.
  10. Just be yourself. You’ve got to act cool, relax, and be open to new experiences. When you do this, people will get to see the real you in a chilled setting, and this makes it easier for natural connections to be made.
  11. There are cons, though. As with any type of dating, there are cons. The biggest one is getting set up by a friend who takes things from “natural” to “need for speed.” She sets you up on a proper date but is hasty AF about it. She doesn’t know your type or doesn’t care to know, so she sets you up with guys who are completely wrong for you! Ugh.
  12. Beware of “friend goggles.” Your friend might see her friend as someone who’s brilliant and amazing, and be blinded by her thoughts of him. When you finally meet him, he’s a total jerk. Yikes. If you’re going to meet people through mutual friends, let it happen naturally by hanging out with your friends and their friends, and if you’re going to ask your friend to set you up in a more formal way, make sure she’s smart about it.
  13. It shouldn’t be a big deal. Knowing that you have a chance to meet someone great by spending more time with your friends and dipping a toe in their social circles is fun, but it doesn’t mean you should obsess about finding Mr. Right in this way. Just enjoy yourself. The worst case scenario is that you don’t meet the man of your dreams, so what? Besides, life can work in mysterious ways. You never know who your friend’s friends are friends with…
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.