Why You Should Respect The Guy Who’s Upfront About Keeping It Casual

Why You Should Respect The Guy Who’s Upfront About Keeping It Casual ©iStock/AmmentorpDK

You meet a great guy who’s cute, smart and funny — in other words, he’s exactly your type. But instead of falling instantly head over heels for you, he makes it clear that he’s only interested in something casual and has no intention of getting serious. This guy isn’t trying to trick you into bed — he’s just being honest, and you should totally respect him for it.

  1. He’s making his intentions clear. You know exactly what he’s looking for from day one. He isn’t making any promises of there ever being anything more than just a casual relationship or hook-up. He’s laying everything out for you and if you don’t get the message, then that’s your fault, not his.
  2. He obviously respects you. If he’s willing to be honest about what he wants, it means he respects you enough not to waste your time. The players of the dating game would never let you in on their dirty little secret. This guy respects you enough to not break your heart, so doesn’t he deserve your respect in return?
  3. He’s totally honest, and it’s kind of refreshing. Finally, a guy who’s not feeding you with BS to get what he wants. A lot of guys will keep putting off the promise of commitment when they know deep down they’ll never be a one-woman kind of man. Those are the guys who really deserve your hatred, not the guy who’s been honest with you from the very start.
  4. He won’t lead you on. Since he’s never hid his true intentions, he’s in no way, shape, or form implying that any part of that is going to change. If you choose to read something between the lines that aren’t really there, then maybe it’s your own intuition that should be checked, not his status as a heartbreaker.
  5. He’s not trying to hurt you. And that’s why he’s telling you exactly what he wants from the very beginning. He’s upfront about his intentions, so if you don’t listen, your heartbreak is all on you. He’s trying to warn you, but you can’t  help but fall for him anyway. In other words, you’re breaking your own heart.
  6. He doesn’t play games. There are no mixed signals, and he’s not messing with your head. His honesty isn’t some kind of sick mind game — it’s the truth. If you think that this is just all a part of the game of love, then the only player (and loser) here is you.
  7. He’s trying to be a better man. He may not be interested in a relationship, but he also isn’t interested in being a player. He’s seen the guys that trick women into hook-ups with the promise that they might mean more someday and it’s disgusting. He’d never pull that move on you, so instead he’s making the rules of your hook-up clear from the get go.
  8. If you fall for him, it’s honestly your fault. He’s honest with you, so it’s time to be honest with yourself. You know what you were getting yourself into, so if you aren’t looking for something casual, then why are you agreeing to the ‘relationship’ in the first place? You should take a page out of this guy’s book and start being upfront about what you want in a relationship. You need to take your dating life into your own hands.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.