Ridiculous Reasons Guys Give For Not Wanting To Make Your Relationship Facebook Official

You’ve hit the milestone of defining the relationship, but your boyfriend isn’t keen to label himself as “in a relationship” with you on social media. If he can’t make it official offline and online, what’s up with this loser? Here are some of the most pathetic excuses guys use to try to weasel out of the situation:

  1. “No one sees it anyway.” You tell your BF you want to make your relationship official and he says it’s pointless. WTF? He claims it’s stupid to change your relationship status on Facebook because no one cares about seeing that news on their feed. Really? Well, this isn’t about anyone else—it’s about you, and if it’s important for you to change your relationship status, he should respect that.
  2. “I’m not a social media person.” You know that he doesn’t like social media and he’s hardly ever on Facebook, but that’s not a good enough reason for not changing his relationship status. It might sound harsh, but come on—you’re an important part of his life and he should be showing the world he’s taken. If he really didn’t care about social media, he wouldn’t see changing his relationship as such a big deal. It’s just Facebook… or so he claims. Loser.
  3. “I don’t want to make my ex jealous.” Shame, his poor ex had such a rough time after their breakup. She’s still battling to come to terms with him moving on and finding someone new. He wants to protect her so she doesn’t feel bad. Oh please! This guy needs to get over himself. Using his ex as a reason not to show the world that he’s in a relationship is really childish. Chances are, she doesn’t give a damn—and if she does, that’s really not your problem or his.
  4. “I’m a really private person.” He never shares anything on social media, so why should he share his relationship status? If he’s that private, then why the hell does he even have social media accounts to begin with?
  5. “I don’t want to brag.” Ah, this is a clever approach. To distract you from why he doesn’t want to change his relationship status on social media, he’ll compliment you by saying he doesn’t want to boast about how lucky he is to have such an amazing woman. But changing your relationship status isn’t about boasting or bragging—it’s about showing the world that he’s not for sale. Plus, if he’s that lucky to have you, then why the hell is he keeping your relationship under wraps?
  6. “It’ll be awkward if we break up.” He seems worried about what will happen if you guys split up in the future. Will all your friends and acquaintances on Facebook see a big notification that you’ve broken up? He hates how awkward that will be. Does this guy not realize he can change his settings on Facebook so that people aren’t notified about breakups? Where’s this guy been living, under a freaking rock?
  7. “I’m about to cancel my account.” He’s JUST ABOUT to cancel his Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts. In fact, he was logging onto the internet to do it just as you walked into the room. How convenient! Unless the guy really does cancel his accounts, he’s just trying to stall defining the relationship online. Red flag!
  8. “I think it’s lame.” He’ll talk about couples who post cheesy messages to each other and how stupid they look. You might agree with him, but ask yourself: Why is it lame or cheesy to change your relationship status? You don’t even have to share it with your friends. It’s just info about yourself that’s important for the world to know. Unless he wants to be seen as single, that is. Shady.
  9. “Do we need social media to validate us?” Clever, dude. By trying to make social media seem stupid, he gets out of having to change his relationship status. It’s not about validating your relationship; it’s about being committed to each other, both offline and online. If he’s making such a big deal about this, you have to wonder what’s really going on with him.
  10. “I like keeping you all to myself.” It sounds naughty and fun to be his secret, but honestly, it’s shady AF. If you’ve been dating for weeks or months and he still doesn’t want to be open and honest about your relationship, he’s up to no good.
  11. “But Facebook’s not a dating app!” He says it’s not like he uses the Facebook or Twitter app to get dates, so why should he specify he’s taken? You weren’t even implying that he’s into flirting online but now that you’re on the subject, you might as well say it: you want people to know you’re in a relationship and that he’s out of bounds. There are many people who do treat social media as the new way to hook up. Why wouldn’t he want to show the world he’s not into that by making his relationship status clear?
  12. “We haven’t been dating that long.” When’s a good time in the relationship to change your social media relationship status? It really depends on when it feels right to you. But if you’ve hit relationship milestones like telling each other you love each other and he’s still dragging his feet about changing your relationship status, he doesn’t want to make things official. Why? Maybe he’s not as committed as he says he is.
  13. “Everyone knows we’re together, so what’s the big deal?” You’ve met your boyfriend’s family and friends, and they know you’re in a relationship. So his thinking is that you don’t have to mention your relationship status on Facebook. But what about YOUR loved ones? If you need a relationship status to make you feel secure and good about your relationship, what’s the harm? He shouldn’t be selfish about this. If it’s “not a big deal” then why is he making it one?
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.