The Thought Of Getting Married Stresses Me Out Way More Than It Excites Me

Plenty of little girls dream about their wedding day and I’m certainly no exception. I know that one day I want to wear a gorgeous gown and say “I do” to the man of my dreams… just not anytime soon. Right now, the thought of getting married stresses me out more than it excites me.

  1. Weddings are expensive. This isn’t breaking news, which is why a lot of couples opt for the civil ceremony and intimate dinner at home or their favorite restaurant. I totally get that, but I know in my heart I do want the whole extravagant ceremony and reception. I won’t be able to afford it any time soon, though; I’m not at a point in my life where I can justify spending more on flowers and invitations than what I owe in student loans.
  2. I’m indecisive as hell. All my friends know I can’t make a confident decision to save my life. Heels or flats? Lace or no lace? Hair up or down? Wedding planning is nothing but one decision after another and I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility. I can’t imagine having to plan and organize a wedding when I can hardly decide what I want to eat for breakfast each morning.
  3. Logistics are my biggest nightmare. There are only two things in the world I’m afraid of: spiders and logistics—and sadly, the latter can’t be squished with the heel of my shoe. I’ve always been more of a free thinker, a go-with-the-flow kinda gal. The thought of coordinating more than a hundred people and keeping them fed and entertained on my big day is enough to keep me up at night.
  4. I’m still friends with too many people from college. Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome, but I’m not sure I’ll be quite as close to so many people in the next few years. I want to wait to get married until I’ve got a solid group of friends who I know I’ll be able to keep in touch with for years to come (and not feel obligated to invite those who I’m not as close to now).
  5. Being a bridesmaid is hard enough. I have a lot of engaged friends at the moment and I couldn’t be happier for them, but pulling double-MOH duty is no picnic. Between bridesmaid dress-sizing and bachelorette party planning, I’m already overwhelmed—and I don’t even have to make the seating chart.
  6. I’m too much of a people pleaser. And from what I hear, when it comes to weddings you just have to look out for number one (and your fiancé, of course). At this point in my life, I’m too susceptible to other people’s opinions and don’t trust myself not to get lost in the chaos leading up to “I do.” I can’t get married until I know what I want and can stand my own—traits that will serve me well in this hypothetical marriage and beyond.
  7. How do I know the guy I’m in love with today will still be “The One” tomorrow? I love dating, I love love, and I do like weddings. Still, seeing as no relationship I’ve ever had has lasted a lifetime (do you see a ring on this finger?), I’m pessimistic that my current or future relationships will. Going through a breakup is bad enough; I can’t imagine going gthrough a divorce.
  8. I have my fill of family politics during the holidays. Every Thanksgiving, I leave the table with horrible indigestion—and it’s not due to the stuffing. Stomaching a two-hour (or more) meal with my highly opinionated relatives a couple of times a year is almost more than I can bear. Needless to say, I’m reluctant to gather my entire extended family under one roof where an open bar is sure to incite blood-boiling debates.
  9. My career plans are still TBD. I love my current job but know I don’t want to do the same thing forever. I’m still trying to figure out how to make my passions a practical reality and I don’t want to jump into marriage until I’ve gotten my professional footing. Remember the whole “weddings are expensive” bit?
  10. What’s the rush? Maybe it’s just me, but there seems to have been such a sense of urgency for couples to get engaged following college graduation. I’m all for romance and wanting to spend the rest of your life with your partner, but at only 23 or 24 years old, there’s still time for the rest of your life. And speaking of the rest of my life…
  11. I want my marriage to last forever, so I might as well enjoy life before it. I grew up with the notion that marriages are meant to last forever—and I believe they are! I want to grow old with the first—and only—person I marry, but rushing into a wedding isn’t the best way to ensure a long and healthy marriage, is it? Weddings are romantic, but marriage is hard work and I want to enjoy a few more years of freedom before I tie the knot.
Julia is a recent graduate of the University of Virginia where she majored in English and French language and literature. She's engaged in an on-again-off-again French love affair (with the country itself) and has been crushing on French pop star Jean-Baptiste Maunier for about 8 years. When she's not writing you can find her rereading The Wizard of Oz or trying to run away with the circus.