When you’re caught in the dating game or in the midst of a toxic relationship, it’s tempting to think that there’s something wrong with you and that you’ll never find love. Once you find someone you’re a match with, all of these thoughts slip away. You see that all the parts of you that others rejected are totally embraced by your person. It may sound like a fairy tale—and it seldom happens on your timetable—but it’s possible to find that right person.
You’ll see that there’s a lid for every pot. Every weirdo in the world has an equally weird person who’s a great match for them in love. As the saying goes, there’s a lid for every pot. When you finally find a lid that fits, it makes sense to you why all the others were too big or too small. The one for you will be just right.
It’ll be confirmed that you’re incompatible with most people. Let’s face it, you’ve been through more lids than you’d like to admit. Small, large, cracked, bent, and growing mold—you’ve seen it all. Every time you’ve hoped for the person who’d fit just right, they turn out not to be the person for you. The reality is that almost all of the people you meet and date aren’t the ones for you. It takes time to find the one who is; they wouldn’t be special if it was quick and easy.
You’ll be all right for the person you’re meant to be with. Dating so many people and having it fail miserably may make you feel like there’s something seriously wrong with you. You see others finding their lovers with seemingly perfect ease, but you’re fumbling over all these lids that just aren’t a match. Well, when you DO find that person who fits just right, everything about you will make sense. Call me a hopeless romantic but I truly think that you won’t be too much or too little of anything for the right one.
They’ll love—or at least accept—all of your quirks. The fact that you prefer to stay in with Netflix on a Friday night really bothered your last partner. That’s because they weren’t a fit for you. The right partner will embrace what makes you who you are. They’ll be right there with you, Netflix and chilling but, really, watching Netflix. They also won’t be thrilled about the fact that you snore but they accept it as part of the package that comes with the lovely you. Your quirks won’t feel like things you have to hide anymore.
They’ll also call you out and help you grow. Look, I’m not saying a lover exists who’ll never give you a hard time and will just always think you’re perfect. No, that person doesn’t exist (thank God). Instead, being the right person means that they’re also someone who’s willing and able to grow with you. They’ll challenge you when you need to be challenged; they won’t let you be stuck in stagnation.
Your feelings of being good enough will be validated. You’re an independent person—you know you’re good enough. The cool thing about finding a lover that just validates the sh*t out of you, is that they’re a giant reminder that you’re good enough. It’s a beautiful thing to be told how lovely and worthwhile you are.
You’ll realize that love does exist. Finding the person who’s right for you disproves any theory you had that love just doesn’t exist. It shows you that—wow—true adoration and care for another in a romantic way really is a thing. It feels different when it’s someone who’s actually a good fit for you instead of someone you were just trying to make it work with. The lid fits on smoothly rather than trying to jam something together that just isn’t a good match.
You’ll be reminded that there was never anything wrong with you. Dating can really do a number on you. It can make you feel like you’re broken and it can exhaust the crap out of you. You know logically that there’s nothing wrong with you, but continuing to have failing relationships makes you feel otherwise. Finally having someone work out, though, is a giant reminder that there’s nothing wrong with you. Of course, you don’t need someone else to tell you this, but it’s certainly nice.
They may not be forever, but they’re meant to be in your life for a time. Another caveat to all this lovely talk about the right person is that many times they’re just meant to be in your life for a period of time. I mean, how often do you meet a right person and then you live happily ever after? No, more often you meet a right person and you spend a few years with them. You teach each other beautiful things and have lovely experiences, then the relationship ends. Very rarely do you get lucky enough to find a forever person.
It won’t be perfect but it’ll be worth it. This person I’m describing sounds dreamy and all, right? You may be thinking, “Um, this person doesn’t exist” or, “Love isn’t that easy.” You’re right. Finding someone who’s a match for you is tremendously difficult. You have to fight dragons to find each other and once you do, it’s still not all those romantic movies have cracked love up to be. There are difficulties and fights where your humanness spills out, but it’s all worth it to experience the fullness of someone you love and to be utterly accepted by them.