It’s never easy or fun to break up with someone, but sometimes it must be done. Of course, there are right and wrong ways to end a relationship with someone. Unless a guy is a complete jerk, you should be careful about the way you break up with him so you don’t have to hurt him any more than you have to. If you want to nice and considerate when you break up with your boyfriend, here’s a little advice.
Give him time and space.
The time and setting of a breakup are important. Don’t plan a breakup if you’re in a situation that will force you to be around one another immediately afterward. In other words, do it over coffee rather than during appetizers before a sit-down dinner. Make sure you have an escape plan or that you’re somewhere that gives him the option of leaving. This may sound callous, but no guy is in the mood to spend time around the person who just dumped him. You need to give him time and space after the breakup to process everything and start to recover.
Hopefully this is obvious, but it should be mentioned anyway. Admittedly, being 100% honest isn’t a good idea in all situations. You have to know when to hold back to spare a guy’s feelings. However, keep in mind that most guys will be desperate for some kind of explanation after getting dumped. Do your best to provide a satisfying reason for why you’re ending the relationship.
Break off communication.
After a breakup, you might want to remain friends with a guy, but don’t try to do that right away. A lot of guys holdout hope for a reunion after a breakup and insisting you stay friends can send the wrong message. This is why you need to break off communication after a breakup, at least for a while. He might try to contact you, but you can’t be the first one to call or text if you’re the dumper. It may not be easy, but breaking up with a guy means cutting off all communication for the immediate future.
Don’t say you regret the relationship.
If you care at all about a guy’s feelings, this is a no-no. Guys tend to see any failed relationship as a waste of time. That’s an unfortunate way to look at things, so you don’t want to reinforce this thought. Obviously, you don’t want to lie to him. But try to convey that the relationship was nice while it lasted and had a lot of positives. It’s a nice consolation prize that can help keep a guy’s spirits up after a breakup.
Go MIA on social media.
This might be without saying, but most guys will stalk you on social media right after a breakup. For us, it’s a little like torture, but we can’t really help ourselves. As I said, guys just want to make sense of the breakup, so they think there will be answers online. For that reason, you probably want to avoid posting anything. You definitely don’t want to post pictures with another or make any mention of someone else, I mean, unless you want to twist the knife.
Don’t mention the other guy.
If there’s another guy, don’t mention him. You don’t want to say his name and you don’t want to compare him to the guy you’re dumping. Admittedly, if you’re dumping him for someone else, it can be tough being honest without mentioning the new guy. But just try to explain that you’re looking for something else. If you specifically mention another dude, you’re telling a guy that he’s not as good as someone else. This can hurt even more than the breakup itself.
You can’t lose sight of the fact that a guy is going to feel terrible after being dumped. Don’t pile onto the guy by playing the blame game. Sure, it might be his fault, but this is one of those rare times when you want to avoid 100% honesty. Don’t start sentences like “You never” or “You didn’t.” Instead, start sentences with “I feel.” Focus on telling him how you feel rather than things he did wrong. Keep in mind that you’ll want to take a little time to think about what you’ll say beforehand. This will help you be honest with the guy without hurting his feelings any more than you have to.
Don’t give false hope.
As I mentioned, guys will almost always want to get back together after getting dumped. We tend to view getting dumped as a personal failure. That means getting back together will rectify that failure. That’s why it’s important to not leave that door open if you don’t mean it. Don’t talk about staying friends if you don’t mean it. When you dump a guy, just remind him that he’ll be fine eventually if he just gives it a little time. The nice thing about that advice is that it’s probably the truth.
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