Romance Is Alive and Well — You’re Just Dating The Wrong Guys

A lot of people are complaining that romance and chivalry are dead but that’s not true… It’s actually all about who you date. When you finally meet “the one” and he can’t seem to get enough of you, you’ll see… You were just dating the wrong guys. So it’s time to be smarter about who you spend your time with, especially if any of the following apply to you:

  1. You don’t care how men treat you. You’re so used to it by now that you can’t even see it, but the men you allow into your life are cesspools of toxicity. They treat you like you’re disposable, and you put up with it. Constantly. It’s miserable to witness — I can’t imagine how much more miserable it would be to actually experience. It’s no surprise you think romance is dead, but it doesn’t have to be this way.
  2. You love the drama. That’s a sad fact, but it’s true. You thrive on drama and you’ve done your best to create an environment for your life that breeds it. You can’t find a stable, committed guy because the things that make a man stable don’t make for good drama. You’re addicted to the highs and lows.
  3. You’re looking in all the wrong places. That’s another reason why you can’t find someone decent. You go out with a dude who treats you like crap and then you turn around and date one of his friends. You know that quote about the definition of insanity? It’s when you do the same things over and over again but expect different results. Yeah, that.
  4. You refuse to listen to anyone. You’ve got friends who care about you. They’re willing to listen to the gossip — after all, your life is a drama factory — but they do try to get you to reconsider the error of your ways. It’s not your fault that someone makes a choice to treat you poorly, but when you’ve got pals on your side who see the warning signs a million miles away, you might want to take a stab at heeding their advice for once.
  5. Your self-esteem is shot. Here’s where we come to the real reason why you’re stuck dating dirtbags: your self-esteem is almost non-existent. The truly tragic thing about that is, you’re looking at these relationships to help fix it. Nothing external can fix the respect that can only come from inside of you.
  6. You’re so used to it that you can’t even see it. Your friends see it, your family knows it, but you’re so stuck in the self-esteem spiral that you’re not seeing it. The problem with feeling like you’re worthless is that it will come out in the people you surround yourself with. These dirtbags are attracted to you like moths to a flame because of it.
  7. You don’t respect yourself enough to do better. Ultimately, the change has to come from you. You have to decide that you’re not going to let men jerk you around and that you deserve better than the dirtbags you’ve peppered your dating past with. Until that happens, you’ll be stuck in this holding pattern, still believing that romance is dead.
Becca Rose is a writer with high hopes for her student loan debt. She's a musician and aspiring novelist, but don't ask her to write poetry, because she's terrible at it. She has written for HelloGiggles, The Toast, The Huffington Post, and more. You can find her on Twitter @bookbeaut