Romance is something most of us want in a relationship and there’s no shame in admitting it. However, I’ve noticed that a lot of guys are totally opposed to the idea, and no matter how many obvious hints you give them, some guys blatantly refuse to engage in a bit of romance. Here’s what I think is really going on:
- They think it makes them less manly. Some men are a little old school in their line of thinking. They don’t want to give in to your every demand, to be seen as being “controlled” by their girlfriends. But let’s be honest—there’s nothing wrong with a woman demanding a little thoughtfulness from her guy. It’s something that should come naturally if he cares about her, anyway.
- They’re scared to show their sensitive sides. Men are brought up to be strong and tough and while they do have a sensitive side, a lot of them are wary of showing it. While women gossip with our girlfriends about our feelings, guys are a bit different and like to keep it more stoic. Romance means revealing too much of how they feel and that scares them. It’s silly but sadly true.
- They have a fear of rejection. Confessing your love is a scary thing all on its own. Confessing your love in the middle of a busy city street with a bunch of roses in your hand is even scarier. Add a ring and a proposal to that and yes, you might have romance, but how embarrassing if she says no. The fear of rejection holds a lot of men back. They’re not all as confident as they’d have us believe!
- They’re downright lazy. There’s no excuse for just plain laziness, but lazy dudes put minimal effort into everything they do. How on earth would they be thoughtful and inspired enough to actually engage in some romance? My advice to the women with the lazy partners is to call them out on it. Don’t let a lazy guy get in the way of your Nicholas Sparks ending. God knows I won’t!
- They think you have high expectations. I can’t blame them for this one, but I don’t blame women for having high expectations of love, either. The thing is, the grand romantic gestures in movies are usually overdone and men tend to think that it’s the movie quality romance that their girl desires. While I’d argue that it can be done, some men would be put off by such grand gestures of love. However, most of us aren’t looking for boomboxes outside our window or 1,000 rose petals leading to our beds—it’s all about the little things.
- They don’t know what romance is. Whether genuinely unsure or just not very creative, some men need a little bit of help when it comes to how to be romantic. This is where hints come in. We need to make it clear what we mean when we say we want romance. Sure, they should know by now, but trust me, some of them have no clue.
- They’re stubborn. Ah, the stubborn man is the man who doesn’t do it simply because you want it done—and yes, it’s damn frustrating, especially when you’re just as stubborn as him and you end up with two hard-headed people in the relationship. Sometimes the best strategy in dealing with a stubborn person is to compromise with them and sometimes, it’s to be stubborn back! Romance is important, so stand your ground!
- They don’t put much value on romance. It’s no secret that most men don’t put as much value on romance as their women, so they’re going to need a little push and shove to help them understand exactly what it means to you. Appreciate the romance when your guy tries to introduce it in the little things. He doesn’t have to put a high value on romance, but knowing how highly valued romance is to you should make him up his game.
- They’re not good at it. Some guys really have no clue when it comes to being romantic, and others are even more romantic because of it. There’s nothing more romantic than a guy trying to be romantic, but most men don’t see that. We don’t need the rehearsed speech, we want the impromptu, heartfelt one. We don’t need the dozen red roses delivered by hand—handpicked flowers as we walk by the park is enough. Let’s show our guys that being romantic doesn’t have to be hard. They don’t need to be good at it, they just need to try.