I’m Running Out Of Time To Have Kids & It’s Freaking Me Out

It’s a total stereotype that women are all obsessed with getting married and having babies ASAP, and it’s certainly not true for everyone. Admittedly, it IS true for me — at least the baby part. I desperately want to have a kid; in fact, I’m kind of obsessed with the idea for plenty of really good reasons:

  1. I am literally running out of time. Men have it easy — they can have children well into their 50s and 60s. Gee, it must be really nice to have all that time to cultivate a career and sense of self before starting a family. I can only imagine how nice that must be. As a woman, however, I’m pushing it if I wait until I’m 40 to get pregnant. There’s a limit to how many eggs I can make.  Biology is not on my side.
  2. It could be dangerous if I wait. Having a baby later on in life can cause life-threatening health problems for both myself and my child. The statistics are staggering. This is why it’s important for me to have a family sooner rather than later — the longer I wait, the more dangerous it’ll be.  Is there any wonder why I’m so anxious about this?
  3. If your mom didn’t go at least a little baby crazy, you wouldn’t exist. Boom. Think about that for a second. All people exist because a woman wanted them to. Even unexpected pregnancies are eventually embraced. There’s some food for thought, dude. I’m just embracing what is, for me, a biological imperative, just as so many women before me have done. What’s so bad about that?
  4. Creating life is legit. It’s one of the most amazing things about being a woman. How can anyone criticize me for wanting to bring life into this world? Sounds like one of the most noble things a person can do, pretty much ever. I know parenting isn’t for everyone, but for those who do want it, it can be miraculous. I want that experience.
  5. It’s out of my control whether or not it happens and when. Just like when I’m PMS-ing while on my period, baby fever has hit me whether I like it or not. It’s how my body functions and I shouldn’t have to apologize for that. SO many of my friends in their thirties have said that even though they used to not want kids in their 20s, something switched when they hit the new decade. It kind of freaks me out, but it’s necessary for advancing the human race.
  6. I should be allowed to at least talk about it. If my boyfriend dodged the subject every time I bring up babies, I might start to reconsider the relationship. I don’t want to bring it up years later, only to find out he doesn’t want kids. I need to know whether or not the guy I’m with does or doesn’t want kids. I don’t know isn’t good enough. My damn life is on the line.
  7. I’m now expected to have it all. I’m expected to be strong, independent and contribute to society while also finding time to get married and have a baby, all before I’m 35. That alone is enough to make me go crazy. I’m just as hyped about my career and relationships as I am about babies — I just want it all now!
  8. Babies are cute AF. Again, I appreciate that not everyone wants kids or even likes them, but oh man, babies are so damn cute. If I see a baby in a sun hat and overalls, I’m going to go a little cuckoo. In fact, I don’t understand people who don’t. Babies are cute, end of story. Why wouldn’t I want my own little one (and later, big one)?
  9. I already know I would be a really good mom. I have always known I was meant to be a mom. There isn’t a single doubt in my mind that I’ll be having kids in the future and I’m totally ready for it. Just like Adele was born to be a songstress, I was born to be a mommy (among other things). I don’t have to think twice about it.
  10. I’m going to sift out the jerks if I’m upfront about my baby obsession. Since I’m seriously feeling the whole baby thing right now, I’m going to let the guys I date know. Talking about having children evokes thoughts of the long-term nature. If they get scared, then I know they don’t want kids and aren’t right for me. I’m not letting anyone waste my time when I know what I want.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.