Are You Sabotaging Your Own Happiness? 10 Ways You’re Making Yourself Miserable

It’s easy to forget you’re responsible for your own happiness when it seems like nothing is working out the way you want it to despite your best efforts. But there’s always something you can do to get out of whatever rut you’re in — just make sure you aren’t doing these 10 things to sabotage your own shot at happiness:

  1. You expect your relationship status to make you happy. We’ve all heard the advice that you have to be happy on your own before you can be happy in a relationship. While dating someone you really like can seem like the best thing that has ever happened to you, it can’t be the only good thing you have going on in your life. Put that much pressure on a relationship and it’s doomed to fail.
  2. You’re afraid to be alone. So you have the relationship, but it’s not exactly going very well. Instead of ending it and embracing the single life, you stick it out because for some reason you think being with someone is inherently better than being alone, no matter what. It’s not.
  3. You play the victim. Instead of taking responsibility for mistakes you’ve made and recognizing times you could have done something differently, you blame the world for everything bad that ever happens to you. That means you have no sense of control over your own life and you end up feeling like you couldn’t change your circumstances even if you wanted to.
  4. You stay friends with toxic people. If one of your friends is a negative influence on you, there’s no reason you can’t cut them out of your life. Your own well-being should be your top priority and you’re under no obligation to stay friends with someone who drives you crazy just because you’ve known them since you were a toddler.
  5. You have a dead end job. Everyone has to work, and we’ve all had those jobs we had to suck it up and go to anyway because we had to pay the bills. But if you want something to change, you have to change it. Start looking for another job, go back to school, just have a plan for making things better. Then at least you’ll have something to look forward to rather than accepting you have no other options.
  6. You never exercise. Physical activity is not only good for the body, it’s good for your mental and emotional well-being too. You’ll actually notice you have more energy and you feel better because you accomplished something when you make an effort to get a little bit of a workout in every day.
  7. You hold grudges. Holding onto old feuds isn’t doing anyone any favors. Anger and hurt aren’t easy emotions to get over, but it’s worth putting in real effort to do it anyway because they can start to manifest in physical ways if you aren’t careful. So your ex-boyfriend cheated on you — that sucks, but hating him for the rest of your life isn’t going to change anything, so find a way to let it go.
  8. You let people walk all over you. Standing up for yourself is good for the soul. It makes you feel strong and it helps you release those negative emotions you shouldn’t keep bottled up inside. If you let people talk down to you and treat you like crap all the time, it’s no wonder you’re miserable. You deserve respect, so don’t be afraid to demand it.
  9. You don’t have any goals. Setting and accomplishing goals on a regular basis is a good way to feel like you’re making progress and working towards a better life. No one is perfect, but as long as you’re always working towards something, you’re still on the right track. No goals means you’ve given up, and no one who has given up has a shot at real happiness.
  10. You obsess about your weight. The actual number on the scale means a lot less than you think it does. Everyone has different body types and learning to love yours and be as healthy as you can be is more important than how much you weigh. Don’t let your insecurities hold you back from doing everything you want to do — if you want to wear a bikini you wear that bikini and be proud.
  11. You let jealousy control you. Whether you’re jealous when another girl flirts with your boyfriend, or jealous of your sister for having a better job than you or jealous of your friend who has the perfect body, it doesn’t matter — jealousy is a waste of time. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, appreciate what you do, and you’ll be surprised how much weight comes off your shoulders.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.