He Said He Wanted A Relationship But His Eagerness To Sleep With Me Suggested Otherwise

I don’t care if I sound like a prude—I don’t want to have sex with a guy too soon in a relationship. So when a guy I met told me he wanted to date me officially but then couldn’t wait to take things to the bedroom, I knew this was a bad sign.

  1. He was faking it. Sure, women can fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships. That totally refers to this guy. It was a huge red flag that he wanted to have sex so quickly. I started to worry that he just didn’t want to date me at all, even though he told me how special I was to him.
  2. He knew where I stood. I’d told him that I was the type of person to take things slowly instead of rushing into sex. So, he probably figured that he had to pretend to want to date me so that he could get sex and then GTFO. What a jerk! I hoped I was wrong but it wasn’t looking good.
  3. He wasn’t going to get it. He was always into sexting instead of having real conversations, and he always wanted to meet up at night instead of having daytime dates. He had sex on the brain but he wasn’t going to get lucky with me. I was in resistance mode!
  4. I gave him multiple chances to prove me wrong I tried to get him to agree to real dates, but he was never into it. He always chose going for drinks instead of dinner. I knew my fears were confirmed: he was just hoping to get laid before moving onto the next woman.
  5. So much for romance. He’d tried to be romantic when we first met at a party by giving me compliments and telling me how much he enjoyed chatting with me. Once, he even said he wanted to know everything about me but then he never actually took the time to have those conversations with me. His actions didn’t match up to his lame promises. What a loser.
  6. He exposed himself. I confronted him, telling him once and for all that I wasn’t looking for something casual and was only getting hookup vibes from him. He told me he didn’t believe in relationship labels. OMG! But, he added that he really wanted to date me. For real? Could he give me any more mixed signals? WTF?
  7. He wasn’t worthy of my bed linen. I need to be with someone who’s actually worthy of sleeping with. I don’t just sleep around with anyone and this guy would’ve led to a host of disappointments. I want a guy to earn his right to sleep with me. When I told him this, he took it the wrong way, seeing me as arrogant. Uh, okay, dude.
  8. I’m sorry but I have “sexpectations.” I have certain expectations when it comes to sex, and this guy couldn’t meet them for anything. One of them is that I want a guy to actually genuinely like me for who I am when we’re fully dressed, not just for what I can do in the bedroom. Another one is that I want a guy who respects me and sticks around for important things to show that he cares about me.
  9. He’s a sexist jerk. I really got the impression from this guy that he was used to treating women like objects, like when he kept inviting me over to his place in the early hours even though he knew I lived across town and would have to get out of bed and drive there. It was like I had to be a sex toy for him when he was lonely. Screw that!
  10. I don’t have time for lazy lovers. I could tell this guy wasn’t going to be good in the sack or in a real relationship because he was so lazy! He couldn’t even put any effort into dating me and he just wanted to get whatever he could, without even getting to know me.
  11. He played dirty. It’s bad enough to date someone and realize they’re just looking to score but this guy’s dirty approach really pissed me off. He tried to manipulate me into thinking he liked me and wanted a relationship just so he could have sex. I can’t even deal. I would’ve respected him more if he just told me what he wanted, right from the start instead of being such a liar.
  12. I’m not into rushed romance. I don’t have time for people who are looking for a quick sex session, conveniently done on a Friday evening before they rush out to the hottest party. I want someone who wants to take their time to get to know me and build up to sex because it means something important. If a guy really sees me as worthy, he won’t want to rush either. That’s the kind of man I respect and want in my life.
  13. I don’t date backward. It’s hard to find men who want real love instead of just hooking up. It’s even harder to find men who want to date in a traditional way, that is by starting with dates and then moving onto sex. I don’t want to do things backward by starting with sex and then maybe finding my way to a relationship. A guy like this one who tried to con me into thinking he was really into me would never take things further than sex, and honestly, I wouldn’t waste my time trying to change him.
  14. He proved what a piece of crap he was. He said had loads of expectations that were stressing him out. If this was his way to turn the tables on me, he had another thing coming! I called him a man-child who needed to grow the hell up. I couldn’t resist—he was looking for it and I just wanted him to GTFO of my home so I could forget I had ever met him.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.