We all want to be liked and to make our lives and the lives of the people we love as easy as possible, but no matter what you tell yourself, being a people pleaser is probably making you miserable. It’s time to change things up and start saying no more often—you’ll be a lot happier.
It makes you a priority.
Whenever you agree to something you really don’t want to do, you’re doing it for someone else and telling yourself that you’re not worth listening to. Saying no to things is the best way to show yourself and others that you take care of yourself first—that you’re your number one priority. If everyone made themselves their own priority, we’d all be a lot happier.
It lets people know that you have standards.
Saying no is a statement. It’s basically telling the world, “I know my own value and I don’t need to say yes to everything in order to feel likable.” That statement will actually change the way people see you. Once you value yourself, other people will value you too. Who knew rejection could be such a positive thing for everyone involved?
You’ll stop resenting other people for things you have control over.
Have you ever gone to a party you didn’t want to go to and then spent the entire time resenting everyone for “making” you go? Well, guess what? The only person responsible for you being somewhere you don’t want to be is you. You have the option to turn down an invitation whenever you want. If you’re not into it, don’t do it. It’s that simple.
Your time will mean more to people.
It’s really easy to take advantage of people who say yes to everything. Even people with the best intentions will think you’re just super down for anything, and the simple truth is that the more you say yes to things, the more people will ask of you and the less they’ll value you. Turning people down every so often lets them know that you have a life and your time is valuable, and they’ll appreciate the time they get with you so much more than before.
People value honesty.
Nothing is more attractive than a woman who knows her own mind. There are so many ways to let people down gently with a bunch of BS excuses, but honestly, the best way to get out of something you’re not interested in is to just be truthful. If you have other plans, tell them that. If you want to hang out at home and watch Lifetime movies in your bathrobe with your cat, tell them. It might seem rude at first, but you’d be surprised at what a welcome relief it will be for people.
You’ll have time to do things you actually want to do.
Have you ever felt like you’ll just never get to do the 10 billion things you want to do because you have to do all the other dumb crap first that you know you shouldn’t have committed to but did anyway? It’s time to start practicing your rejection line. It’s so easy to just say, “No, thank you,” and go off and start crossing off things on your bucket list. Life is short! Do what you want to do.
You’ll be more confident.
The more you ignore that voice in your head that wants you to please other people, the more confident you will be in yourself. You don’t need constant approval to know you’re a badass. It’s a self-evident fact. Just do you, and you’ll start to notice how much stronger and self-assured you become.
People will take you more seriously.
Even though it’s probably easier for people if you say yes to everything, they won’t have as much respect for you. Saying yes to everything makes you an easy target and people will take advantage. It’s the people who say no to things who are respected. Know your own mind, speak it proudly, and you’ll be admired and taken seriously, just like you deserve.
Your relationships will be healthier.
Some of us try to avoid confrontation at every turn, and this often means agreeing to things or letting things slide that actually really bother you. And even though you might think you’re making things easier, you might actually be ruining your relationship. If your partner is worthy of you, they’ll want to know how you feel, so tell them! You’ll end up with a much more open and compassionate connection.
You’ll be less stressed in social situations.
If you say no to the things you don’t want to do and only say agree to do the things you do want to do, you’ll actually enjoy all the social situations you find yourself in. After all, you chose them. And if you find yourself not having a good time, you know what to do. It’s never too late to change your mind and bail. Your only obligation is to yourself.
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