They Say There’s Someone For Everyone, So Where The Hell Is My Someone?

I’ve always known that the journey to Mr. Right would be a long one, but I seem to have unintentionally taken the scenic route. Everyone keeps telling me that he’ll come along eventually, that everyone has a soulmate somewhere out there waiting for them, but I’m starting to feel like I’m the exception to the rule. I’ve been as patient as I can be, but this is why I can’t help but wonder if the man of my dreams will always be out of my reach:

  1. I’ve paid my dues. It’s not like I have unrealistic expectations about love. I’ve always known my first partner wasn’t going to be my last, and I’ve certainly dealt with my fair share of jerks throughout my time searching for the right guy. I feel like I’ve been put through enough and learned my lessons, so I’d really like to meet “the man who will make it all worthwhile” that everyone seems to talk about.
  2. I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried online dating, in-person dating, and not dating. I’ve dated guys who were my type and guys who weren’t my type. I’ve been affectionate, I’ve been aloof, and I’ve been everything in between. I haven’t found The One yet, but it’s certainly not for a lack of effort. I’m at the point where I don’t know what else to do, so I wouldn’t be too bummed out if fate gave me a hand over here.
  3. I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong. I do my darndest to make sure I’m the ideal partner. Sure, I’m great as a single woman, but when I’m in a relationship, I always put my 100 percent into being the best girlfriend I can be. Clearly, though, it’s not enough. In the end, I always end up attracting the wrong guys who either do me wrong or don’t fit well with me. I feel like there has to be a secret that I’m missing out on, but I sure as hell don’t know what it could be.
  4. I’m fine being alone, but I’d rather not be. I’ve been on my own for a while now, and I feel like I’m pretty darn good at it. I’m independent, confident, and self-reliant, and I love myself to ensure that I don’t need a man to feel fulfilled. But just because I’m happy as a single woman doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to have someone by my side. I’m over the lonesome lifestyle, and at this point, I’m ready to have a partner. I just have no idea where he might be.
  5. All I want is a chance to prove myself.¬†I know that relationships aren’t easy even when you’re dating your soulmate. I’m not asking for a fairy-tale romance; I just want the opportunity to create something amazing with someone else. I’m willing to put in the work required to build something beautiful and lasting, but if I never even meet the guy, how am I going to even get the chance to show him just how well I can treat him?
  6. I don’t want to lower my standards, but I feel like I have to. My standards aren’t exactly sky-high in the first place, so I’m not thrilled at the prospect of having to lower them. But what other choice do I have? The expectations I have now clearly aren’t getting me anywhere, and part of me feels like I’m going to have to settle if I ever want to end up with a halfway decent partner.
  7. I try to pick decent guys. It’s not like I’m deliberately seeking out liars, cheaters, and manipulators. I try to go for good men, but a lot of them end up revealing their true nature after I’ve already gotten attached. By the time I’ve realized the mess I’ve gotten myself into, I’ve wasted a ton of time on the wrong guy and wonder if I’ve lost my chance at finding the right one. I clearly have issues picking the right guys, but I don’t know how to solve the problem.
  8. There are way worse people out there who have found true love. I’m not perfect, but I’m far from the worst woman out there. I know lots of crappy people who have found true love, and yet, somehow I’m still single. I don’t mean to sound stuck up, but I don’t think it’s conceited to say that I deserve someone who makes me happy just as much as the next woman does. There has to be someone out there for me… right?
  9. I’m almost ready to give up. I’ve lived my whole life with a “never quit” attitude, but I’m starting to feel like I’ll have to make an exception when it comes to love. At this point, the constant disappointment and heartache just keep bringing me down, and it doesn’t look like there’ll be an upswing any time soon. I’m going to keep trying for as long as I can, but part of me wonders if I should just accept that my Prince Charming has better things to do than settle down with me.
  10. The universe doesn’t owe me anything, but I could use a hand. Just because I deserve love doesn’t mean I’m entitled to it. I know and accept this even though it’s a hard truth to swallow sometimes. Still, though, I wish destiny could give me a tiny nudge in the right direction. I don’t expect the man of my dreams to fall into my lap, but I’d at least like to know that I have the potential to find him someday soon.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.