If He’s Saying Or Doing These 15 Things, He’s Probably Sexist

A sexist guy isn’t always upfront and open about his views. He could be keeping his misogyny close to his chest only to unleash it later after you’ve already gotten sucked in. How do you spot a guy who lacks respect for women? Look out for these 15 signs:

  1. He interrupts you all the time. You listen to him when he talks, but the minute you start talking about something, he interrupts you. He might not just be arrogant but sexist too. If he’s always cutting through your opinions and experiences like they don’t matter and he doesn’t do that to men he talks to, then it’s clear he has problems with women.
  2. He constantly points out that he’s a “nice guy.” If he needs to announce it, it’s probably not true. Does that make him sexist? Yes—if he keeps using his niceness against women, like by complaining that women don’t appreciate good guys or guys that treat us well, he’s actually got some serious issues you shouldn’t even attempt to deal with.
  3. He assumes you’ll fit in with stereotypes. He looks surprised when you mention you run your own company or when you say you can’t multitask very well. He assumes you’ll be polite, bake on the weekends, and let the man take charge. Ugh. What is this, the 1950s?
  4. He “jokes” about periods. This is one of the most annoying and childish sexist comments. When he jokes that the woman who served him at the restaurant was moody because she’s probably got her period, it’s not funny at all. Same with him suggesting you have PMS when you’re annoyed by someone’s rude behavior (especially if it’s his). It actually makes him seem like such a loser.
  5. He doesn’t like that you earn more than him. He supports your career but looks a bit put out when he finds out that you earn more money than him. This could point to how he places importance on traditional gender roles and thinks that guys should be the breadwinners. So lame.
  6. He helps you when you don’t need help. He sees you standing on a ladder to hang a painting on the wall and rushes to take over, saying you’ll hurt yourself. You mention your iPad’s not working and he quickly tries to fix it. Men who treat you like you’re helpless and need their assistance are what’s known as benevolent sexists. They seem really chivalrous but their “help” feels degrading.
  7. He mansplains. A guy who feels he has to mansplain things to you is an jerk and sexist. It’s his way of exerting power over you by belittling you and making you feel that you’re not as intelligent as he is because you’re a woman. Screw that.
  8. He speaks badly about his exes. You might laugh when he talks about how psycho his ex was, but if he has bad things to say about ALL of his exes, it says more about him than the women he dated. He might have negative views about women in general. The minute descriptions of his exes include any degrading or belittling comments, he’s sexist.
  9. He says you’re “not like other women.” Don’t take it as a compliment—it’s a sexist thing to say because he’s implying that all other women are crazy/high-maintenance/clingy. It’s also insulting because these kinds of statements try to put women in competition with each other.
  10. He always compliments your looks. If he’s not complimenting your skills, how well you handle a tennis racket, or how successful you are in your work but he’s quick to tell you how sexy you look in tight jeans, he might not just be looking for a booty call but he could be a misogynist too. It’s like you’re just a body to him.
  11. He dislikes all of your male friends. You might think he’s jealous, and he might be. But he could also be sexist. If he implies that you’ll cheat with them as though you can’t control your female desires, there’s an issue. Another example is if he treats your male friends as though they could steal “his woman” from him—um, you’re not an object and can take care of yourself.
  12. He has ideas about what a “real woman” is. He might claim you’re a real woman for wanting to have kids, or that your friend’s not a real woman because she doesn’t want to get married. Whoa, that’s not cool. If he’s putting societal expectations on women, he’s sexist and it’s unacceptable.
  13. He doesn’t want to talk about women’s issues. Whenever you want to talk about equality and serious issues that women face, he shuts down. It’s like he doesn’t give a crap about feminism or equality. What a jerk.
  14. He can’t handle your emotions. When you’ve had a bad day and shed a few tears, he’s quick to tease you, saying that you’re “girly” or “too emotional.” When you tell him that your gut’s warning you about something, he smirks as though you told him you saw an alien in the backyard. How infuriating. He’s not playing around—he’s making you feel like you’re not allowed to express your emotions. He might actually believe that women are emotional and therefore unstable while men are rational and therefore superior. What BS!
  15. He makes decisions for you. He might not be making huge decisions on your behalf, but be aware of those little ones he does make. For instance, when he orders a drink or meal for you without first asking what you want. Any time he thinks he can take control, he’s disrespecting you. You can guarantee he doesn’t pull that crap with his male buddies or colleagues, so why should it be okay for him to do that to you? It’s not.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.