Whether you consider yourself to be a pro or an amateur at dating, it’s always intimidating meeting someone for the first time — especially if that person could potentially turn into your husband someday. To avoid totally wasting your time, here are a few red flag statements that prove he’s not out for a committed relationship:
“I’m currently crashing with my parents.”
Hey, sometimes crap happens. Jobs aren’t guaranteed and rent is more expensive than ever. That said, some guys are just content with having their mom and dad tend to them well into their 20s and 30s. Expect this guy not to know how to do laundry or wash dishes, either. Basically, it’s safe to assume he’s a bit of a commitment-phobe as well as a freeloader. If he does have a unique situation, like that he’s taking care of a sick family member, he’ll say that upfront.
“You’re paying for this, right?”
Sometimes a guy picks up the tab, others you go dutch. Either way’s fine, but what’s not normal is making it seem like you’re only on this date for a free dinner. If this guy asks you about paying for the bill in its entirety after ordering, he’s not viewing this meet-up in a romantic context.
“My ex and I broke up last week.”
Cool story, bro. It doesn’t matter if the ex in question was a queen or a crazy person. Getting out of a relationship and then jumping right into another is just bad news. Even if he does see potential with you, you’re nothing more than a rebound. You deserve more than that, and he deserves to take some time to adjust to being single again.
“I took someone here a few weeks ago.”
When you’re dating, it’s obvious that you might be playing the field a bit — and since you’re not committed to anyone, that’s totally cool. But openly telling your date that you’re reusing a location just seems pretty cheap. How are you supposed to follow with a statement like that? By asking him what he ordered or what the specials were? It’s devoid of romance and kind of cringe-worthy, to be honest.
“I see myself falling in love with you.”
Nope, he doesn’t. This guy is moving way too fast for a first date and simply likes the thrill of the chase. I’d bet money on the fact that he’s trying to woo you, and will quickly lose interest the second you assume things are going to get serious. This guy sucks.
“My longest relationship was three months.”
This isn’t something to brag about. Yes, everyone’s got to start somewhere, but he’s handing over his pathetic romantic resume pretty quickly. This will lead you to wonder why the other girls ditched him after three months — and while you might never know for sure, it’s safe to assume that he lost interest and moved onto other people around that point.
“I just moved to the area last week.”
This one could very well be innocent, but sit back and look at the situation here. He’s obviously on the lookout for people to hang out with. There’s still a lot of stuff in this guy’s life that hasn’t been settled yet. Like, his clothes are probably still in a box in his brand new studio apartment. Consider this to be a yellow flag, but give him some time before even thinking about a romantic commitment with him.
“I’m sorry, what’s your name again?”
When you date a ton, you may lose track. Even if you’ve chatted with this guy a bunch prior to hanging out with him at the local pub, failure to remember your name is a big hint that you’re not super important to him. Some people are bad with names, but remembering this fact is literally the least amount of effort he needs to put forward.
“It’s hard for me to build trust.”
We all have baggage, but this guy is pretty much admitting his right off the bat. Sure, he may be able to trust again, but for now, you can interpret this line as him saying “I don’t want to get too close to anyone.” At least he gets props for honesty.
“Yeah, I might quit my job.”
Sometimes we find ourselves in an office situation that drives us batty, but a lax attitude about quitting is pretty telling. If he doesn’t give you any idea on his future plan or where he sees himself in a few years, he’s likely planning out his entire life by ear. In fact, this is the type of guy who’d move states away on a whim during any given Saturday. It’s nice to be carefree, but being totally casual (and somewhat reckless) is a sign that this guy isn’t going to commit to you, or anyone else.
“I’m just really busy.”
It’s nice to be busy, but he’s already telling you up front that he has no time for you. Either he’s not feeling this first date and he’s hoping you get the hint or he’s only looking for a quick hookup.
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