If He Says You’re “Just Talking,” Start Dating Other Guys ASAP

Why the heck would you wait around for a guy if he keeps you stuck in the “just talking” phase? If he avoids commitment like the plague and refuses to make things official, it’s time to move on.

  1. He’s saying “maybe.” If he liked you, he’d be making you his girlfriend, not wasting hours “talking” to you casually. Sure, at first it’s cool to get to know you, but not if it’s been weeks and things haven’t progressed. What he’s really saying is that he’s not sure if he wants to date you. Save your energy for someone who’s sure about you!
  2. He could be testing you, which, dude, no. Don’t you hate the feeling of being in an exam, hoping that you’re giving the right answers and impressing the guy? Ugh. Dating’s hard, but it’s not supposed to make you feel like you’re being tested or that you have to prove yourself. Screw that. He doesn’t need time to “figure out what he wants.” He’s just biding his time and wasting yours.
  3. You deserve a guy who’s got his act together. You could sit around and continue “talking” to the guy, but it’s been weeks and you’re probably fed up. And rightly so!  It’s better to go find a guy who knows what he wants and doesn’t make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, unsure of what’s going on.
  4. If he wants a way out, he can have it. It’s what he doesn’t say that really matters. “We’re nothing major. We’re not serious. I can get out of this with no strings attached whenever I want.” That’s what he’s too afraid to voice and honestly, he’s not the kind of man you want to be associated with.
  5. You’re more than an option. You don’t want to be talking to some guy who’s talking to loads of other women. Hell, you’re not someone to have on his speed-dial when he’s lonely AF. You should be more than that to him. He should want to make things official without feeling like he needs loads of dating options. What a man-child!
  6. It’s not like you’re getting to know each other. “Just talking” would be cool for a while if you were actually taking the time to get to know each other in a deep and meaningful way. But you’re not even really talking! You’re sending each other some lousy texts and hardly even going out on dates. So what the hell is this?
  7. No relationship? No talking. You shouldn’t continue talking to someone who doesn’t want that talk to progress to something real. He has to step up to the relationship instead of just acting like he’s sort of your boyfriend. It’s all or nothing.
  8. Stop waiting and start living. Screw waiting and hoping the guy will “come around.” If he says you’re “just talking,” you’re still in a casual setup, and you know what the disclaimer to that is? “Don’t wait around—we’ll never be anything.” Bye.
  9. He’s already said no. After a few dates, the guy should know what he wants from you. Is that really unreasonable? Nope. What’s unreasonable is continuing to give him a chance when clearly the guy’s made his decision. No answer is actually an answer. Take it and move on.
  10. You know what guys are like when they’re really into a woman. They don’t BS her with talk of “just talking” or “casual dating.” Hell no. They swoop right in there, are clear about their intentions, and don’t want to mess her around. They want to put a label on things and make the relationship official. Most importantly, they’re not afraid of taking that leap. See the difference?
  11. You need and deserve actions. Forget words. The guy can call this whatever he wants, but his actions are what you should really be paying attention to. “Just talking” is all about words and promises. It’s not about action, and love is a verb. ‘Nuff said.
  12. Lazy guys need not apply. The guy’s not making an effort to be with you, so WTF are you doing with him? You’re lowering your standards by staying with him and it’s not worth it. If he can’t meet your relationship standards, he’s not good enough for you. He needs to stop talking right now and make a move—right through that door!
  13. This is a copout. When a guy says you’re “just talking,” it’s the biggest cowardly dating behavior. It also seems to prioritize fate and going with the flow. Uh, nope. Don’t you want a guy who takes the initiative and goes for what he wants? A guy who makes things happen? Of course you do. Because honestly, where you end up depends on where you both decide to go, and “just talking” will only take you to a dead-end. Rather leave the loser behind and turn this car around so you can drive someplace better without him. Adios!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.