Date The Guy Who Scares The Hell Out Of You — He Just Might Change Your Life

There’s a reason you end up with the same guys over and over again — you’re making the same mistakes. When you stop putting up with that tired old crap, you’ll realize that you’re attracting totally different guys. It can be terrifying, but maybe that’s exactly what you need. Here’s why:

  1. Being scared is good — as long as it’s not because he’s legit insane. Of course, you’re smart enough to know the difference… right? You probably stopped dating those other guys because they actually were crazy. No need to go for that BS anymore — that isn’t the kind of scary we’re talking about here.
  2. But seriously, though — there is such a thing as good scary. You know what that is —the kind of scary that excites you and freaks you out all at the same time. You get tingly and nervous and worried because you’re afraid that it’s too good to be true. You don’t want to be let down, and that’s usually because you realize the potential for something amazing in him.
  3. You’re scared because he doesn’t fit your usual type. It’s always weird to get out of your comfort zone, especially with dating. You may have noticed by now that you do have a type, whether or not it’s obvious. It might not be a physical similarity, but there are definitely common threads if you examine your history. Take the time to figure out what you’re doing wrong.
  4. Don’t forget — your usual type isn’t working. The whole reason you’re scared is because he’s different, but you need something different. Obviously whatever you were choosing in the past is not working. It’s time to identify what the problems are and move on. You never know how much more amazing your dating life could become because of it.
  5. He’s scary because he’s not afraid of you. That’s right, you thought you wanted a strong man and now you’re weirded out. It’s only because you’ve never had one before — once you’re used to it, you’ll never go back. It’s wonderful to be with a man who doesn’t find you intimidating or unapproachable. You want someone who can handle your vibrant and strong personality, right?
  6. He’s doing everything you always wanted but never thought you’d get. After years of bad and unsuccessful relationships, admit it — you stopped expecting to get what you wanted. When it finally showed up, you were startled. Now you’re wary. You’re keeping one eye on the door in case he turns out to be too good to be true because he has to be. (No, he doesn’t.)
  7. Now that you have what you want, you don’t know what to do with it. You have no idea how to react to getting what you want. It’s been an unrealized fantasy for so long and now that you’re getting it, you’re a total mess when you should be happy! Get it together, girl. You deserve the best — appreciate the fact that you’re getting it, for once.
  8. You don’t trust that it’s real. It can’t be, right? Guys like this don’t actually exist. He’s going to disappear or transform into a giant douchebag any minute now. But you keep on hanging out with him, and it just isn’t happening. It’s so weird, and you’re still waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’re scared to get hurt yet another time, which makes sense but is also no way to love.
  9. You have to let go of your fears and leap. Look at it this way — it can’t get any worse than what you’re already expecting. If you’re prepared for the worst and hoping for the best, you’re winning. Give the guy a break and a chance. Don’t close yourself off to the potential for wonderful love.
  10. Don’t miss out on an amazing man because you’re jaded. You could let your defenses win and give him the cold shoulder. You could assume he’s just like every other guy. Don’t do it. Listen to your gut, not your brain. Your brain is terrified of exposing your heart to pain, but your gut can tell whether a guy is genuine or fake. You’re scared because he’s not like the others.
  11. You’ll never know what could’ve happened if you let him pass you by. You’ll always wonder what if, and that’s a crappy way to live. You may not get another opportunity to find a man who scares you in a good way. Now, hopefully, if he’s the right guy, he won’t let you get away that easily. He’ll be patient and understanding of your fears and he’ll prove himself to you over and over again until you believe him.
  12. There’s only one way to find out if he’s too good to be true. Yes, it’s scary — opening up and becoming vulnerable is always scary. Unfortunately as you get older and experience more pain, it’s increasingly difficult to do so. Just think of it this way — would you rather go through your life experiencing emotions, both joyful and painful, or not experiencing anything at all? That’s no way to live. You have to jump in and let go and know that if he’s this scary he just might be the guy who will catch you and hold you for the rest of your life.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.
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