It’s Scary How Little I Need A Man—And That’s An Amazing Feeling

I’ve been rolling solo for quite some time now and it’s allowed me to fully immerse myself in my independent single life. The longer I’m alone, the greater my ability is to get crap done and fulfill every single one of my needs. I may want a man in my life sometimes, but I know for a fact that I definitely don’t need one.

  1. I get stuff done on my own. I’m not too proud to ask for help, I just don’t need it. I pay my own bills, I drive myself rides to the places I need to be, and anything else that a boyfriend may do for a girlfriend, well, I can do myself. If not, I can call any number of handymen out there that will generously accept cash for things I can’t accomplish on my own because I just don’t know how to rewire an electrical panel or build a deck from scratch.
  2. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. And there’s not one single man on my radar. I don’t have a crush on anyone nor are there any male prospects I’m staking out. I’m just doing my own thing unapologetically and I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy with myself or my life. It’s almost liberating to be this free. I’m alone but I’m not lonely and that’s quite an amazing feeling.
  3. I’m so comfortable with solitude. There are people who wouldn’t dream of doing certain things alone but there are no limits to the things I’m happy to do solo. No one wants to go see that movie with me? Cool, I’ll stand in line for tickets and popcorn and then enjoy that flick all by my damn self. Eat lunch at that fancy new restaurant I’ve been dying to try without a lunch date? Hell yeah, I have no problem with that. All the things I used to think were things I needed a partner for are now things I can do solo.
  4. No one ever seems like a good use of my time. It’s not that the guys I do meet and hangout with are anything but great, I just don’t really care to spend any more time with them. It’s always in the back of my mind that my time could be better spent with friends, on my passions, or even just binging Netflix in my underwear. I’ve yet to meet my unicorn and until I do, I really don’t care about men at all.
  5. I can take care of my own sexual needs. I own a vibrator and although it’s just a basic, run of the mill sex toy, it does the trick. I don’t really have this constant urge to find the real thing because I’ve already got myself covered when it comes to the big O.
  6. Dating isn’t fun for me. Mainly because while I’m on a date all I can think about are the things that I’d rather be doing. I know that I don’t need a boyfriend and I’m not lonely to the point where anyone’s company will do. I’m pretty cool with my solo lifestyle—so cool, in fact, that I don’t even really want it to change… at least for the time being.
  7. I get enough attention as-is. If I’m being completely honest, I don’t really like it all that much. When I’m hit on in public or checked out on the street, I don’t get flattered. I’m not annoyed or anything because anyone that spreads good vibes is alright with me—I just don’t really care. I own a mirror. I know what I look like.
  8. I’m too busy to pine. My schedule is hectic. I don’t have time to be daydreaming about when the next time some guy is going to text me or if he’s thinking about me too. My mind is full of things that bring me satisfaction and happiness already and there’s barely any room in there for anything else, let alone another entire person.
  9. The only things I need are health and happiness. If I’m being severely cold and rational about the whole thing, the only things I truly need are my health and my happiness. If I’m in good health and I’m happy with my life and my choices, guys are just going to have to get in line and hope they make the cut.
  10. I do want love, I just don’t need it. And that’s a beautiful thing. I used to think that unless I was in a relationship with someone, my life wouldn’t be “complete.” Now I know for certain that I don’t need anyone but myself to be complete and have a full life, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.