Scientists Unveil ‘Alien Corpses’ At Hearing As ‘Proof’ Of Extraterrestrial Life

Do you believe in alien life? While I feel like there must be other forms of biological sentience out there in the universe — it would be ignorant to think otherwise — ain’t no way that they’re little green men that look humanoid and use language, technology, or literally anything else the way we do. However, that hasn’t stopped popular belief from insisting that aliens are a whole lot like us. In fact, at an official event in Mexico on September 12, two so-called alien corpses were unveiled as “proof” of their existence, and the lolz were plentiful.

  1. These “non-human” corpses are apparently 1,000 years old. That’s according to the journalist and ufologist (yes, that’s a thing) Jaime Maussan, who presented them at a congressional hearing. He claimed that they’d been analyzed by the Autonomous National University of Mexico (UNAM), where researchers used DNA sampling and radiocarbon dating to come to a pretty wacky conclusion.
  2. Apparently, the corpses are more like fossils. Whereas the Pentagon in the US claims to have found UFOs with aliens on board, these “specimens” were actually found underground and have been here for at least a millennium. “These specimens are not part of our terrestrial evolution… These aren’t beings that were found after a UFO wreckage. They were found in diatom [algae] mines, and were later fossilised,” Masussan told the San Lazaro Legislative Congress under oath.
  3. Out came the aliens! Brought from Cusco in Peru, the E.T.s were displayed in boxes with clear plexiglass in front so that you could see what was inside. Those in attendance were also shown supposed x-rays showing two hearts, a spine, and other extremely humanoid features.
  4. This wasn’t just a fringe gathering of nutters. In fact, some pretty high-ranking scholars and government figures were in attendance, including Professor Abraham Avi Loeb, the director of the Harvard Astronomy Department (though he was only there via video) and U.S. Navy pilot and Executive Director of Americans for Safe Aerospace, Ryan Graces.
  5. Maussan believes people need to know that aliens aren’t just here now — they’ve been here a long time. “The public has a right to know about non-human technology and non-human entities,” he said. “We are talking about a topic that unites humanity, not separates us. We are not alone in this vast universe, we should embrace this reality.”

Jennifer has been the managing editor of Bolde since its launch in 2014. Before that, she was the founding editor of HelloGiggles and also worked as an entertainment writer for Bustle and Digital Spy. Her work has been published in Bon Appetit, Decider, Vanity Fair, The New York TImes, and many more.