Like a lot of women, I’ve longed to find the kind of love that would eventually lead me down the aisle ever since I was a little girl. Growing up, however, the once innocent thought of love and marriage has been twisted around me by social media, fashion magazines and insane new ideologies about what goes into being a bride. It’s all very overwhelming to me because I care more about the man I marry than being a bride.
- It’s not MY day, it’s our day. I’ve seen and heard about so many brides that get bent out of shape, preaching to everyone around her about “her day.” Maybe I’m missing this part of the bride gene, but I’ve never really looked at it as “my day” — it’s the day I get to vow to spend my life with the man who finally earns the right to keep my heart. It’s about us as a unit.
- The love I have is more important than my appearance. Do I want to look good on my wedding day? Of course! Am I going to have a meltdown if my hair isn’t curled to perfection? Hell no. I’ll be too busy enjoying the celebration with my newlywed husband to give a damn about the petty details. That’s not what a wedding is about. It’s not all about me.
- I refuse to conform to the Bridezilla mentality. In all honesty, I think that the women who behave like Bridezillas are a little bit ridiculous and quite frankly, a bit scary. How can someone truly focus on and enjoy the love that they have when they’re too busy barking orders at vendors, bridesmaids and family members? I’d rather not be a stress case and enjoy every single moment of the lead-up to wedding day and focus on the guy I’m marrying instead. Besides, the best stories and memories aren’t perfect, they’re laced with a bit of chaos.
- Society has brainwashed the purity out of weddings. Weddings used to be about love, or so I thought. These past few years, and especially with the birth of social media, it seems like everyone’s just competing against each other and attempting to one-up each other on making their wedding day something to brag about. To me, if the guy I’m marrying is truly the one for me, being married to him is all the bragging rights I need. It shouldn’t be any more complicated than that.
- Being a bride is part of a much, MUCH bigger picture. I don’t want to become one of those brides who lets the fantasy of being a bride take away from the bigger picture. While the thought of getting married someday deeply excites me, it’s also important for me to truly know and understand the man I’m devoting my life and love to. It’s not a race to get down the aisle. It’s not going to be a disappointment if my wedding day isn’t perfect or if my dress catches a snag. It’s only one step out of a much bigger picture. Being a bride leads to actual marriage.
- I only care to be beautiful to the man I love. While a $500 veil and the perfect set of false lashes may make my wedding guests gasp with astonishment, I care more about how my future husband views me on a daily basis and in my best and worst moments. While our wedding day may be the most beautiful he’ll ever see me as physically, it’s only one day and it’s more important to me that he thinks I’m beautiful both inside and out when I’ve first woken up, hair a mess and possibly drool crusted on the side of my lip. If he can love me through those moments, then he truly deserves to be my groom.
- Forever is more important than a day. I’ve heard so many women argue that they “deserve” their dream wedding day and to be the exact type of bride they’ve always envisioned, but I think that mentality is actually quite depressing. When you love the man you’re marrying, none of those details should matter. It’s not about living out the fantasy of a one-day celebration, it’s about living out the fantasy of having a fulfilled and loving life with the best partner and spouse you’ve ever had.
- There’s way too much pressure on brides these days. There has always been a ton of pressure on brides to embody a princess-type of beauty on the big day but with new media outlets like Pinterest, the pressure has been laid down even thicker. The lavish dress and the pressure to lose an insane amount of weight to fit into it, the makeup artist, hairstylist, alterations to the several thousand dollar dress… it’s completely over the top. When did this kind of pressure begin to take away from the joy and excitement of having a wonderful man to marry?
- I’d rather have an amazing man than an amazing wedding. When it truly comes down to it, I would marry my perfect guy at City Hall in a heartbeat if I have to. As much as I’d love to live out my childhood fantasy of being a bride to my future husband, it’s not why I’ve coveted the idea of marriage and saying “I do.” Maybe I fall outside the norm, but being a bride has never been the fantasy or the dream I’ve been wishing for. The dream for me would be having an amazing man to marry in the first place.