Screw Ladylike: 16 Totally Unsexy Things Every Woman Loves To Do

Think women are all sexy and ladylike all the time? No, not even close. We like letting it all hang out and being disgusting sometimes, just like the guys.  Of course, we don’t always do these things in public. Catch us when we’re relaxed at home and you might just see a side of us you wouldn’t believe.

It’s freeing and makes us feel a little more like humans beings. While guys get to enjoy these things all the time and even brag about them, they’re usually frowned upon when we do them. Why? Who knows, but it’s time to stop keeping those less than sexy moments a secret. We need to just be ourselves, and if men don’t like it, tough. Here are a few things all of us are guilty of at some point.

  1. Going fuzzy, even in the summer. It’s a pain in the ass to shave every day or deal with painful waxing. Sometimes it’s just easier to be fuzzy. I love just letting it grow when I know I don’t have to go out for several days. Even if I have to go out, I figure if anyone’s getting close enough to touch my legs, then they’re way the hell too close.
  2. Eating every greasy food within reach. It’s not just during PMS, either. Most women love a nice juicy burger or a meat lover’s pizza. Of course, don’t forget bacon cheese fries or nachos. Okay, I’m going to stop now before I have to go find food.
  3. Skipping the skinny jeans for dirty sweats. We all have that pair of old, stained sweats that we love. That look disgusting, but they’re so comfortable. Sure, the skinny jeans look sexy, but the sweats make us feel wonderful.
  4. Burping our favorite song. No, it’s not just guys that do this. While you probably won’t hear a woman do this in public unless she’s had a few too many, every woman loves trying to belch the lyrics to Taylor Swift or Ed Sheeran. Honestly, it’s hilarious.
  5. Fart so loud it echoes. We try to keep the fact that we even fart at all a major secret, though I’m not sure why. It happens to everyone. It’s when we’re alone that we really let it rip. I’m pretty sure no guy would ever date us if they heard what could come out of us. That’s why you make sure you’re married first.
  6. Enjoying a nice, disgusting dump. To continue with bodily functions, women love being able to  just let it go after eating way too much Mexican for dinner. It’s like losing 10 pounds in just a few minutes. Guys honestly don’t realize how difficult it is holding it back. It’s one of the great things about being single. You don’t have to wait for a guy to leave first.
  7. Dealing with raccoon eye when we’re tired. I know we’re supposed to wash off our makeup before bed. Sometimes, we just don’t feel like it. Raccoon eye isn’t sexy on anyone, but it happens. Do we care? Nope.
  8. Tackling even the deepest wedgie. Why is it okay for a guy to fondle himself in public, but if a woman picks out a wedgie, she’s disgusting? I’m sorry, but if my underwear has turned into the world’s smallest thong, I’m fixing it. It’s sexier to pick it out than walk funny all day.
  9. Manspreading. We’re taught to sit like a lady when we’re young. You’re never supposed to spread your legs and sit like a man. BS. I can sit however I want. If I want to straddle a chair or sit all spread out while I watch TV, I can. It’s not teasing, it’s just more comfortable.
  10. Making a sailor blush. Don’t ever think a woman is too sweet and innocent. We can cuss with the best of them and probably say things that’ll make a sailor blush. Get us mad sometime and you’ll see exactly what I mean.
  11. Freeing the girls for a while. It doesn’t matter how big or small they are, the boobs have to be free once in a while. They may not look perfect when the push up bra comes off, but who cares? They’re not being imprisoned in an uncomfortable cloth trap.
  12. Chugging a beer better than any guy. Men always think women only drink those cutesy fruit flavored mixed drinks. Women like a good beer, too. They’re also really good a throwing one back and never checking up.
  13. Proudly wearing sweaty pit stains at the gym. I’m not sure when it become a requirement to look hot while working out, but women get sweaty. They don’t glisten. A woman who’s serious about working out instead of hooking up will proudly wear the pit stains and not care.
  14. Wearing hats instead of shampooing. When we’re running late and don’t have time to wash and blow dry, we’ll resort to putting our hair up in a bun or ponytail and wearing a hat to cover up the oily scalp. Sure, our hair looks molded to our heads, but doesn’t that hat look super cute?
  15. Getting food everywhere. Women really aren’t all that dainty. We might try to be careful in public, but when we’re at home, food goes everywhere. We’ll finish eating at a burger to find mustard on our faces, tomato juice running down our arms and bread crumbs all over our shirts.
  16. Eating stinky foods and still wanting to make out. After being in a relationship for a while, women get more comfortable and give in to their stinky food cravings. We’ll scarf down some Italian dinner filled with garlic and still expect our man to make out with us later. Of course, if we both eat garlic, then it’s okay, right?
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.