Screw Last Minute — If You Want To See Me, Make Some Actual Plans

Screw Last Minute — If You Want To See Me, Make Some Actual Plans ©iStock/g-stockstudio

I get it — life is busy. But that doesn’t mean that you can call me last minute and expect me to just chill. I’m a woman with options so if you want me, you have to earn me. And that starts with asking me out on a date and making some real plans.

  1. I’m not a backup plan. If you’re texting me anytime after dinnertime, it’s probably because your original plans fell through. Well, I’m not the girl you can go to when everyone else ditches you. If I’m not your first choice, then I have no choice but to turn you down.
  2. I want you to put thought into the date. If you ask me to hang out at the last second, we’re probably going to end up watching Netflix in your bedroom until you gather up the courage to kiss me. At the very best, we’ll end up seeing a movie at the theater and doing the making out in your car. You won’t have time to think of a game plan that’ll impress me.
  3. It takes me a while to get ready. I’m sorry, but I can’t just throw on jeans and jump in my car to see you. I need to shower with body gel that’ll make my skin smell like heaven, shave every inch of my legs and bikini area, and find an outfit that makes me look cute, but doesn’t make me look desperate. Getting ready for a date is a pretty big process.
  4. It’s not really a date at all. Nine out of ten times, it’s not an official date if you ask me if I’m free two hours before I’m meant to meet you. It’s just another hookup and I’m sick of hookups. I don’t have time for them.
  5. I want time to look forward to seeing you. If I like you, then I want to spend a few days daydreaming about what might happen when we go out. The anticipation is almost as much fun as the actual date. If you ask me out the same day you want to see me, then I won’t have time to get pumped.
  6. I have a life of my own. If you wait until the last second to ask me out, chances are I’m already going to be busy. Believe it or not, I’m not going to cancel plans with my friends just to see you. Sisters before misters.
  7. It makes me feel like crap. I don’t want to be the person you call up when you’re bored or drunk or horny. I want to be the person you’re excited to see, even if you’re 100% sober.
  8. I hate surprises. I’m the type of person who sticks to a set schedule. I don’t wait until Friday night to figure out my weekend plans. I have them all planned out by Monday, because I’m not the biggest fan of surprises.
  9. If you liked me, you’d try harder. If you really wanted to be with me, then you’d put more effort into your approach. You wouldn’t insult me by asking me out at the last second. You’d actually take the time to plan out a date and pray that it was romantic enough to impress me.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.