F*ck, Marry, Kill: The Guys Who Belong In Each Category

F*ck, Marry, Kill: The Guys Who Belong In Each Category

*Disclaimer: Do not take this too seriously, please. I do not actually believe you should be killing anyone. It’s a metaphor for simply removing them from your lives! Take note.

Remember that game — Screw, Marry, Kill? It’s a silly harmless one, but there’s some validity to it. There are guys who are only good for sex, great guys who make amazing partners, and… well, the ones that you should just “kill” out of your life for good. Here are examples of each:

  1. Screw: Players, of course. I mean… why else was the term coined? I wouldn’t say to do this if you want anything else but sex, but you can take the power over these guys. Don’t make it about them using you for sex — make it about you getting what you want. You have all the control if you just take it. Just don’t make the silly mistake of catching feelings for one of these douchebags, because you’ll surely regret it.
  2. Screw: That guy you only connect with physically. Every girl has had that guy who just drives her crazy because she can’t stand him, but she wants to jump his bones all the time. Call it what you will, but sometimes it’s fun to hook up with someone with whom you have mad sexual chemistry. You don’t have to take it seriously or beat yourself up over it. Let yourself have some fun! Life is too short to worry so much.
  3. Screw: The hot friend-of-a-friend who makes you laugh. You meet him at a party or night out, and you know he won’t be your forever guy. You don’t have enough in common. Still, he’s really fun to be around and you get along. You have a good time and he’s good in bed. It doesn’t have to be more than that. You know people who can vouch for him as a decent guy who won’t screw you over, figuratively speaking, but you aren’t close enough friends with him that it’ll be weird when it ends.
  4. Marry: The one who completely gets you. The two of you vibe on a level that’s unparalleled. He understands your ins and outs and adores you for them. You can do and say whatever you feel with him and he never judges you. This is the guy you keep by your side. You understand each other, you respect each other, and you truly enjoy each other. There’s nothing like the total freedom and joy of knowing you are accepted and loved without condition… except the joy of feeling that way about someone else.
  5. Marry: The one who was raised right. He has impeccable manners. He respects and admires strong women, but also knows the value of being a support and foundation to one. He takes care of you without misogyny and protects you while fully knowing you can handle yourself. He does it because he wants to, not because he thinks you’re weak and helpless. His momma sure did teach him a few things! Don’t settle for anything less than a feminist who loves you for the badass you are, and when you find him, recognize it!
  6. Marry: The one who is always aiming to become better. He is deeply committed to self-exploration and growth. He treats all others equally with respect because the work he’s doing to better himself has grounded him and taught him humility. He will inspire you and push you to always do the same — learn, grow, examine, question and improve. You help each other in a way that is not negative or demeaning, but not stagnant or boring either. You’ll never get tired of each other because there’s constant change. You need someone with as many beautiful facets as yourself.
  7. Kill: Also the players. I mean, be real: it ain’t gonna last long. Even if it’s just sex, you’ll get tired of it. He certainly doesn’t challenge you, and there’s not much to your relationship outside of the physical. You can only continue in that vein for a little while before you’re over it. And honestly, these guys are the worst. Before long your self-respect will rear up and punch you in the face, and you will have to eject him from your life.
  8. Kill: Any guy who doesn’t respect you. This loser is never, ever worth a second of your time. It doesn’t matter if you’re serious or casual, he needs to treat you decently. If he doesn’t understand and value the worth of a good woman, in the sack or in a relationship, kick him to the curb immediately. Never let yourself fall into the trap of a degrading, oppressive situation.
  9. Kill: Anyone who players around with your heart. Respect obviously ties in here as well, but this applies specifically to any man that you care about as more than just a friend or lover. If you want to be with someone, you have to make sure he understands your worth. If he treats you like you’re disposable or doesn’t take you seriously, he’s definitely going to hurt you. He probably already does. Respect yourself and the power of your love enough to get rid of any guy who doesn’t.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She hopes that they resonate with you or at the very least make you chuckle a bit. She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and The Indie Chicks.