On Our Second Date, He Told Me He’d Killed Someone—Seriously

I met a guy on a dating app and he seemed really cool. He was smiling in every picture and was easy to talk to, so we decided to meet up in person to see if the chemistry was there. I was absolutely smitten after the first date but the second didn’t go quite so smoothly, especially since he’d been keeping a pretty messed up secret.

  1. When he told me he had something to confess, I thought he was already cheating. We were chilling out at my place and I’d just brought him some wine when he said that he had to tell me something. I could tell by looking at him that it was serious, and my first thought was that he was going to tell me he was seeing someone else. We weren’t official or anything so it wouldn’t have been a big deal, but what else could it be?
  2. I started to get a bit freaked out. My mind was spinning, wondering what he was about to tell me. Did he have a wife and kids stashed away in another country? When he started the conversation by telling me that he was bullied in high school, I relaxed a little, thinking what was going to follow couldn’t possibly be anything huge that would affect me in any way. I was so wrong.
  3. I was sympathetic to his complicated history at first. He’d gone through a lot in his life. When he was a kid, his parents got an ugly divorce. Then he got bullied a lot in school by mean kids who liked preying on him because he was introverted and sensitive. I listened to him tell me this and I felt really bad for him. He seemed like such a nice guy.
  4. Unfortunately, there was more to the story. Opening up about his troubled background wasn’t his confession—that was just a prelude to the terrible story that came next. He then went on to say that because he’d gone through so much in his life, one day when a guy tried to mug him in the street outside of his home, he’d totally lost it. What did that mean? Did he get arrested for beating a guy up? Did he put someone in the hospital? If only it was that tame!
  5. He made me push him for details. He told me he lost it with the mugger but left it at that. It was clear that I was supposed to ask him to explain, so I did. Had he gotten angry? Did he have a mental breakdown from the shock and stress of the experience? What did that mean? Did he get arrested for beating a guy up? Did he put someone in the hospital? If only it was that tame. Turns out, he’d killed the guy. Uh, WHAT?
  6. My first instinct was to get the hell out of there. Had I heard the guy right? I felt like I was about to faint and I wanted to bolt for the door. I really hoped that my roommate would get back home so that I wouldn’t be alone with this guy. Suddenly, I felt like such a fool for inviting him over to my place when I’d only met him once, on our first date (which had only lasted two hours, by the way). What was I thinking?
  7. He tried to tell me it was self-defense. He said that he got so mad with the guy for trying to steal his wallet that he went crazy, pushing him and kicking him until he actually killed the guy. He claimed it was self-defense, but given that the other guy didn’t seem to have any weapons and hadn’t threatened him physically, I didn’t buy it.
  8. I texted my roommate, begging her to come home. I made an excuse that I had to check on the dinner that was cooking in the kitchen, and while I was in there I texted my roommate to hurry the hell up and get home because I didn’t want to be around this guy. I didn’t care that he got off on self-defense. He’d killed someone and I didn’t feel comfortable being around him anymore.
  9. Our last hour together felt like a lifetime. It took my roommate an hour to get back, and that time went super slowly. Luckily, upon my return to the lounge, the guy was keen to talk about other things. I played along, pretending to have a good time while inside, I was desperate for him to GTFO of my house. When my roomie arrived, she cleverly lied that she needed my help with something and the guy took the hint and left.
  10. He actually asked me out again. As luck would have it, when I don’t want to get with someone, that person’s super interested in me. The guy contacted me a few days after his dark confession and invited me out to dinner. I told him that I was really busy and I think he could tell in my tone that I wasn’t going to free up my schedule for a long time. Thank goodness he left me alone after that. His confession had been way too much for me to deal with.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.