In a new interview with British Vogue, Emma Watson admitted that as she approaches 30, she’s starting to feel even more pressure to reach the traditional milestones society tells women we should aspire to: getting married, buying a house, having a family, and “having it all” career-wise. For a while, the anxiety was overwhelming, but she somehow managed to find peace in being single, which she refers to as being “self-partnered.”
What does it mean to be “self-partnered”?
Basically, instead of looking to someone else to complete you, you complete yourself. You do all the things for yourself that a partner would do, whether that’s taking yourself out on dates, bringing yourself home your favorite candy bar after a bad day, or running yourself a nice hot bath before bed. You don’t need someone else to live an amazing life because you have the best partner ever: you.
Isn’t it the same as being single?
Technically, yes. However, the important difference here is a shift in mindset. For many women, being single implies that something is missing, that it’s a temporary state they’d like to change ASAP. Single can often seem lonely, desperate, hopeless. When you’re self-partnered, you’re not concerned about finding a man or a woman to add to your life. In fact, you’re not even looking for one.
Why is it important?
While it’s less of a taboo for women to stay single for longer these days, there is still a stigma for some women who are on their own. Some people many assume that as you get older, if you’re still single, it’s because you’re defective in some way or there’s something wrong with you. It can be hard not to internalize that kind of negativity, but referring to yourself as “self-partnered” instead makes a small step towards reclaiming your solo status and even loving it.
Does that mean you’ll always be on your own?
It’s normal to crave human company and companionship, so if you’re not in a relationship but would like to be in one, there’s nothing wrong with that. Being self-partnered doesn’t bar you from ever finding external love, it’s about providing yourself with internal love and having that be enough regardless of what man or woman is or isn’t in your life.
How can you learn to be self-partnered?
If you struggle with being single, it might be time to change your perspective. Instead of looking for someone else to sweep you off your feet, do it yourself. Treat yourself like the queen you are and live your life to the fullest every single day regardless of whether or not there’s someone in bed beside you at the end of it. Be your own partner and if someone else does eventually come along who’s worthy of you, they’ll be the icing on top of an already amazing cake.
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