In dating, we’re given a few guidelines to avoid guys who will ultimately screw us over and break our hearts. Avoid players, once a cheater always a cheater, and generally, steer clear of dudes who aren’t nice to you. So what about the guys who tout their “nice guys” trademark? After all, it’s right there in the pitch. Surely they’re one of the good ones, right? Think again. Here’s why a “nice guy” is actually the worst dudes you’ll ever date.
Dating isn’t an equal opportunity situation. Being thoughtful, caring, and respectful doesn’t accumulate points you can cash in for a relationship or sex, but it seems this guy didn’t get the memo. He thinks because he’s “different” to other guys, women should be grateful and falling over themselves to be with him. Not only that, but he thinks he’s owed these things simply for being nice.
He puts down other men.
This kind of person insists that he is “not like the other guys,” implying that men in general aren’t nice. Boasting his own kindness in opposition to other men not only puts them down, but it perpetuates the notion that masculinity means disrespecting or using women. He’s happy to promote himself as a rarity even if it means insulting others when in reality, there are plenty of decent guys in the world.
And probably says things like, “Women these days don’t want a nice guy, they only want to date a**holes.” Newsflash, buddy, you’re just as bad. Why? Because statements like this imply that women don’t really know what’s best for them—yet random guys somehow do. Oh, that’s right, because being female, we couldn’t possibly be capable of making rational judgments and decisions for ourselves, I forgot.
He acts like rejection is a moral injustice.
Being rejected is no fun for anyone. You’re allowed to be upset about being turned down—I’m upset that I’m not Blake Lively—but you don’t get to play the victim. Everyone has the prerogative to decide who they want to date, and if you don’t make the cut, that’s not a moral issue, that’s just life.
He trades kindness like currency.
If someone is legitimately kind, they shouldn’t feel the need to be rewarded for it. Guys who are nice and expect a date or sex in return frankly aren’t all that nice. Treating women with kindness and respect doesn’t make you exceptional, it just makes you a decent human being. And guys who wear their niceness like a badge of honor aren’t special, they’re just tools.
He’s probably a mama’s boy.
And he makes sure everyone knows just how good of a son he is. Mama’s boys have notoriously grown up hearing all about how great and special and handsome they are. The end result: a wannabe Prince Charming who thinks girls should swoon over him. He also uses his good relationship with his mom to toot his own horn. Once again, not an indication of his uniqueness, just the basic love and respect he should show the woman who birthed him.
He’s bitter AF.
This guy has a Dan Humphrey-size chip on his shoulder. He’s always angry and perpetually stewing over failed relationships, rejection and his inability to land the women he’s interested in. He suggests that he’s been somehow wronged by these women because they don’t want to date him.
He uses children and animals as lady-bait.
Look, I won’t pretend I’m above posting selfies with my dog, but I don’t do it to lure men (okay, maybe once or twice). But this guy’s out to prove a point: that he’s some skinny jean-wearing pied piper. Dogs love him and kids adore him so you should too, obviously. The only problem is that it’s completely unauthentic. As soon as that picture is taken, he’s back to being a self-involved poser, carefully selecting the tags that will result in the most likes. #mansbestfriend
He doesn’t own his own flaws.
If you’re not having any luck in love, at some point, it’s going to be time to look in the mirror. Admitting you may be the problem is hard and acknowledging your shortcomings isn’t always fun. This guy doesn’t believe he has any. Instead, he believes that women are the problem: always picking the wrong guys, whom he deems far inferior.
He complains about being friend-zoned.
Yes, being friend-zoned sucks if you’re really into someone, but this guy complains about it on the regular. He fails to see that even if he’s a good guy, women are still within their rights to not want a romantic relationship with him. Different people fit different roles in life, often platonic. And if he’s awful about being just a friend, that’s the first indication that he’s actually not a nice guy at all.
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