Why Being More Selfish Should Be Your Only New Year’s Resolution

I have been called selfish more than a few times. I’m selfish because I do my own thing, not prescribing the conventional ideas of what it means to live life. I’m selfish because, well, I usually put myself first. And the real proof that I’m selfish? I don’t want kids. But screw it. Being selfish is a good thing and here’s why being even more so should be your only New Year’s resolution.

  1. Selfish women go further in life. If you want to truly succeed in your professional life, you need to be selfish. You need to put yourself first and fuck all that possible competition. No one got anywhere in life by saying, “Oh, here; you can have my dream job while I sit back and wait longer.” Eff that.
  2. Selfish women feel better about themselves. When you’re constantly bending over backward for others, it can be tiring—especially if these people aren’t bending over backward for you. When you give so much of yourself, you eventually start to resent those people and it can cause a rift in your relationships. If you’re selfish enough to not give every bit of yourself to those in your life, it’s not just self-preservation but can prevent you from going mad.
  3. Selfish women feel less stress. Taking time for yourself—lots of time for yourself—to regroup, focus on what makes you happy, and do what you want to do as opposed to doing what others want you to do in social situations can really take a load off your mind. Why should you go to that stupid new trendy restaurant with your friends? The one you don’t even want to go to, when you can stay home watching Netflix while rocking one of those amazing sheet masks on your face?
  4. Selfish women have more confidence. When you put so much energy into yourself and your wants and needs, you cultivate yourself to be the exact person you want to be. When you achieve that status, you’re just automatically more confident because of it. I’ve yet to meet a selfish woman who’s ever second-guessed just how fantastic she truly is.
  5. Selfish women have more freedom. In putting yourself first, you have more freedom than if you don’t. If you wake up one morning and decide, “Eff it, I’m going to Paris for a long weekend,” then you can do exactly that. Being selfish allows you to do things on your terms without feeling the need or obligation to check in with other people.
  6. Selfish women stand up for themselves. If you’re just out for Numero Uno (a term I can’t stop using, I know, because it’s so damn awesome in so many cases), you’re not going to take anyone else’s bullshit. You’re going to stand up for yourself when you feel like you’re getting the shaft and you’re going to speak up when you feel like you’re being wronged. Selfish women don’t take a backseat in their lives and aren’t afraid to be opinionated, especially in regards to protecting themselves and their integrity.
  7. Selfish women are more self-aware. You know those people who aren’t just clueless about their future but clueless as to who they are or when they say stupid, ridiculous things? Yeah, those people kinda suck. While there’s nothing wrong with being a bit confused about one’s future, there is something wrong with not being aware of your shortcomings or even your strengths, for that matter. Selfish women, because they do think about themselves A LOT, are some of the most self-aware humans on the planet. They know their assets, they know where they excel, and they definitely know where they need to work on themselves to be better.
  8. Selfish women are happier. If you’re constantly looking out for yourself, it’s hard not to be happy, and excessively so. You go where you want, you buy what you want for yourself, you spoil yourself with lots of “me time,” you have a successful career, and you don’t accept mediocrity. Ever.
  9. Selfish women only date high-quality guys. Not only do selfish women not stand for crap, they have extremely high standards for themselves. They know their worth so they only date the best of the best. It’s not about ego, it’s about being selfish enough to know what you deserve and not settling for anything less.
  10. Selfish women are an inspiration. Being selfish is not a bad thing at all, and anyone who dares to say otherwise clearly doesn’t understand what it means to be selfish. Selfish women are absolute inspirations to other women who have yet to achieve such a mindset. Honestly, we should all be more selfish.
  11. Selfish women place all their bets on themselves. When you’re selfish enough to know you’re the best, you put all bets on yourself. When you do, then you can’t lose. In fact, you don’t even come in second or third place; you finish first because your selfish enough to make sure you’re never second fiddle in life.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.