If He’s Sending You These Texts, He’s Not Telling You What He’s Really Thinking

If you want to know what headspace a guy is really in, check his texting behavior. Some texts are easier to dissect than others, and when you get one full of man code and are wondering WTF he’s trying to say, don’t stress or double text him to find out. Here’s what he really means:

  1. “I think you’re a great person.” Can you feel a “but” coming on? A guy will usually send this after a first date when you clicked, but he just doesn’t see relationship potential, and he’s hoping to dull your excited “That was an awesome date!” message. It sucks, but this is thankfully usually followed up with a proper letdown so you can actually move on without wasting too much time.
  2. “Are you on Tinder?” Wait, what? This guy’s a total douchebag. He’s making it clear that even though he really enjoyed your date, he’s not going to be deleting his dating apps anytime soon. In other words, he wants to play the field. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to sleep with you, of course.
  3. “It’s been ages. Wanna meet for coffee?” It’s been ages because you both moved on or he ghosted you, for crying out loud. For him to be sending you a message like this out of the blue, he’s clearly just been dumped by his GF and is hoping to revive the spark with you. Can you say “rebound”? Don’t even go there.
  4. “I know you have a boyfriend, but I just like chatting.” Ha! No, what he really means is that he’s hoping you’ll leave your boyfriend or just sleep with him without interrupting your relationship at all (likely because he’s in the same position). The guy’s waiting in the wings.
  5. “Sure.” (Or any other one-word answer when you make plans.) Is he that busy that he can’t tell you he’s looking forward to seeing you? Please. He’s clearly not that excited about your date. If he was, he’d be able to muster up more than a single word.
  6. “My day was good.” Vague, much? This is so frustrating! He answers your text asking how his day is, but then he doesn’t say much about his. Even worse, he doesn’t ask you how your day was. Ugh. He doesn’t want to talk, and it seems he’s hoping to end the conversation so he can do other stuff. Not sharing info about his life is also a sign that he’s not investing in the relationship.
  7. “Want to chill?” The time when he sends this to you is important. If he sends you this during the day, he might want to go on a real date. If he’s sending you this after 11 at night, he’s booty-texting you. Who wants to hang out that late at night? He’s just hoping to score.
  8. “I didn’t see your text until now.” This is such BS. The guy’s just feeling cornered because you asked why he’s been so quiet. Of course he saw your messages. He just didn’t want to reply. Jerk.
  9. “I need to see you.” It’s flattering if he sends you this message after you’ve been emotionally and mentally connecting in real life and via text. But if you receive this text when you hardly know the guy, he’s just hoping to score.
  10. “Let’s talk about it later.” You wanted to speak to the guy about something that’s been on your mind but he writes you off, promising to chat later. Unless it’s a bad time, like he’s in traffic, he won’t just brush off your attempts. Maybe he’s hiding something or just doesn’t want to talk about a certain topic. It feels a bit shady. The best way to deal with this is to chat about it in person so you avoid the difficulty of trying to have a serious conversation via text or getting blown off.
  11. “I’m not looking for a relationship.” There’s no mysterious code here. If a guy says he’s not looking for a relationship, then that’s what he means. Don’t stick around hoping that he’ll change his mind and realize you’re the one he wants to be in a relationship with. That will just waste your precious time.
  12. When he sends emojis instead of texts. Emojis are fun, but if you receive a long line of them without an actual message, it can be annoying. You sit there for ten minutes figuring out what the hamburger and chips emojis mean and if he’s trying to ask you out for dinner. Can’t he speak like an adult? He’s really just playing around here or perhaps he’s too lazy to construct full sentences. Bottom line: he shouldn’t need so many emojis if you have textual chemistry.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.