You went out last night and you didn’t just get drunk — you were completely wasted. You wake up the morning after trying to remember everything that happened last night, but honestly, it’s a blur. You open your phone and go straight to text whoever you were with the night before and there it is — your series of drunken texts. Ugh. What now? Don’t panic — do this instead.
- Drink some damn water. You need to think about your head first before you can deal with the explosive aftermath of last night. The best cure for a hangover is water, water, water. You need to rehydrate your body with something healthy to clean out all the toxins you poured down your throat last night. Until your body is back to its healthy percentage of H2O, don’t even worry about that drunk text.
- Re-read your texts to assess the damage. The first step is getting out of the denial. At some point, you have to stop ignoring the problem and admit that there is one. That’s the only way you’ll ever figure out how to fix it. It’s probably not as bad as you first thought, but if it is, you need to be prepared.
- Enlist your bestie. You need an outside party to assess the situation here. Maybe it’s not that bad, but maybe it’s way worse than you thought. This is what girlfriends are for — venting, helping with your every emotional need, and finally being a shoulder to cry on when all else fails. If anyone will know how to contain the situation, it’s the woman who knows you best.
- Take a long, hot shower. This is the perfect setting to mull over the mistakes you made last night and render a way to fix them. You’ve already gotten the advice from your bestie, so should you take it? You trust her judgment, right? You also know the relationship to the object of your text message better than she does, however, so it’s time to figure out your next move.
- Sober up even further with some food. Before you start the fight to win the war of this drunk texting battle, you’re going to need some fuel. You drank a gallon of water and cleaned yourself up with a hot shower, but food is the last stitch of the hangover cure. Soak up the liquid with some heavy carbs and then you’ll finally be in the right mind to deal with your awkward AF texts.
- Apologize. To every single person you drunkenly texted nonsense to last night. You’re not the first person to send a drunk text and you certainly won’t be the last, but that doesn’t mean your contacts don’t deserve an apology. Drunk texts can be amusing, but they can also be annoying AF. Send a sincere “I’m sorry” and then remember to forgive yourself, because it happens to the best of us.
- Re-read your text several times. You obviously don’t want to send more nonsensical messages if you’re still drunk, but even if you’ve reached sobriety, being hungover isn’t exactly being in your right mind. So read over what you wrote last night and your apology as it stands right now. Is it going to clear the air or make things worse?
- When all else fails, blame it on the alcohol. If you’ve explained your texts and still don’t know how to make the situation better, blame it on the alcohol. It’s not the worst excuse in the world. You weren’t in your right mind and you didn’t have control over your fingers. You can’t take what you said back, but you can make it clear that sober you would not approve.
- Fess up to your feelings… if that’s what you really want. You might have been drunk, but maybe the jumbled mess of misspelled words that came out were actually words you’ve been dying to say. Maybe you needed that liquid courage, but you don’t have to back out now. If you meant what you said, then be brave enough to stand by it. After all, it takes true courage to say how you feel.
- Vow to never drunk text again. One drunken text can be enough to learn your lesson. Have your friends watch over you on bar nights or even turn off your phone (though if you get lost or separated from your friends, you might be screwed). No matter what, you need a plan to make sure you never fall down this rabbit hole again, but if you do, this article will always be here to guide you.
