Seriously, Why Can’t I Find A Decent Man?

I know there are some amazing guys out there — plenty of my friends have found them, but I’m still looking for one to call my own. I put myself out there and consider myself to be a catch, but for some reason, all I keep coming across are losers. Why the hell can’t I find a decent guy?

  1. I’ve let go of my “type” and I’m open to anything. I used to be stupidly picky and I had a list a mile long of what kind of guy I would and wouldn’t date — strangely enough, I always had a boyfriend back then. The problem was that my list had nothing to do with what really mattered, so I chose guys who were totally wrong for me. I think my priorities are better now, but I look around and there are no viable options anywhere.
  2. I’m friendly and approachable. It’s not like I’m conceited or stuck-up. I don’t treat guys like crap just because they don’t look or act a certain way — I’m pretty nice to everyone. You’d think that being so down-to-earth would mean more guys would approach me, but maybe they just don’t see me as enough of a challenge. I really don’t know.
  3. It’s not like I’m gross. Sure, I’m not the hottest girl in the world, at least in a traditional sense — but I’m not chopped liver. I take care of my health; I eat well and I’m in shape. I bathe and groom and brush my teeth and all that good stuff. Some people might even call me attractive. Despite all that, I can’t get guys to give me the time of day. WTF?
  4. I try not to judge guys unfairly. I know how it is to be ignored for not having a certain image, so I try not to pass those same judgments on guys. Looks aren’t everything, though I have to be attracted to a guy in some way. He can be the hottest guy in the world and it won’t matter if I’m not feeling it. On the other hand, if I am feeling it, he doesn’t have to be traditionally good-looking.
  5. It doesn’t take much to pique my interest. I have a pretty good idea of what I want at this point, which is good. The problem is that I don’t meet a lot of men who exhibit the tendencies I’m seeking. I have to get out and get into different circles, I guess. I’m obviously not in the right ones currently. I need to find the guys who share my values, beliefs and interests. It really is that simple.
  6. I go out to places single guys might be. I made a lot of my friends when I was much younger, and my life priorities have shifted somewhat. I know I need to get out and meet new people who reflect the way I now see the world, so I do put myself out there but I still can’t seem to meet a guy who thinks the way I do. I’m trying to get more involved locally in groups that are close to my heart and maybe that will help?
  7. I have a bright and bubbly personality. Still, I sometimes wonder if I’m invisible. It seems like half the time, guys don’t even see me. I’m not on their radar. I’m not tall and blonde with long legs and huge boobs, so sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough for LA guys. I’m also not a hipster and I’d rather go for a hike than hang out at some trendy bar. Perhaps I should move…
  8. I believe good guys are out there. It’s sad but true that all the great guys I DO meet end up being already taken more often than not. I come across dudes who are awesome, and then I find out that they already have girlfriends or wives. Maybe that’s why they’re so nice to me in the first place — they don’t have anything to prove. It still sucks when I find out they’re not available.
  9. I won’t settle for just anyone. The hazard of being nice to everyone is that some people do take it the wrong way, and I’ve had guys hit on me that really can’t take the hint when I make it pretty clear that I’m not interested. I’m confident in what I want from a guy/relationship, which should be super attractive to men — but it still needs to be the RIGHT man. I don’t want just anyone.
  10. I’m ready to open up and let my guard down for the right guy. I will give most guys at least one chance to truly get to know me, but most of them don’t even try. How will you know if you like me if you have no interest in finding out about me? Maybe all these guys just want to get laid, but they don’t talk to me long enough to figure out if I’m down with that! I just want a guy who’s genuinely interested in ME. Is that too much to ask for?
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at