For some reason, way too many guys find it perfectly acceptable to try to pick up women at the gym. While I’m sure there are some women who are into it, the thoughts that run through my head when a man interrupts my workout to ask me out are never very kind. If you really have a thing for me, this is why you’re advised not to make your move while I’m in the middle of my workout:
This is my “me time.” My life is stressful enough, and my time at the gym pulls me away from that for a while and allows me to channel all my frustration into something productive. Just as you probably wouldn’t want someone making a move on you while you were in the middle of watching your favorite show, I don’t appreciate someone pulling me out of my “zone” to try to score a date.
I’m not there to meet guys. There are plenty of dating apps and singles-friendly events out there. If I were that interested in finding a guy, I’d use one of those, not spend my time at the gym hoping the dudebro with the torn-off sleeves was going to chat me up. When I go to the gym, I’m there to work out; if you interfere with that, it isn’t going to be met with a friendly reaction.
I don’t want distractions. I have fitness goals mapped out in my mind, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to achieve them. If I’m about to beat my PR and you make me pause to tell me how hot you find girls who lift, you only have yourself to blame if I accidentally drop the bar on your foot in my rage.
It’s extra creepy. There’s something that makes me even more uncomfortable when a guy decides to try to make a move on me when I’m exhausted and sweaty. Even though I feel most powerful when I’m working out, that’s also when I feel the most vulnerable. So when you think you’re suave when you compliment my flexibility as I’m stretching, all I can think about is how much I want to tie a blindfold on you until I’m done with my routine.
The gym is my sanctuary. When I’m exercising, I’m temporarily free from all the things that wear on my mental health outside those gym doors. But when some rando starts putting the moves on me, that sanctuary starts to break down. Suddenly, I have to worry about dealing with some dude who thinks it’s cool to use my workout as an opportunity to try to get laid, and from there on out, I have to worry about if he’s going to try to pull that stuff again every time we end up at the gym at the same time. Seriously, just leave me alone.
I’m there for myself, not for you. Whether I’m on the treadmill, doing bench presses, or working the heavy bag, I’m not doing it so that you can stare at me until you finally get the “courage” to say how amazing my yoga pants look on me. I don’t work out to get male attention; I do it to release stress and get even healthier. When you don’t respect that and then get annoyed when I ask to be left alone, it gives off the impression that you think I owe you something.
There’s a time and a place for this stuff. My workout hour is not the time, and the water fountain is not the place. If you really want to ask for my number, at least have the courtesy to do it in the parking lot once I’m very clearly finished with my workout. I really just don’t want to be interrupted while I’m in the middle of something that requires a lot of focus, and I don’t feel like that’s too much to ask.
Your intentions are way too obvious. Dude, you and I both know you’re not offering to “fix” my form out of the goodness of your heart (and besides, my form is fine). It doesn’t take a private investigator to notice how you always manage to end up on the machine right next to mine. It’s obvious, it’s annoying, and it needs to stop.
I hate being social when I work out. Even though I may come across as an antisocial jerk when I’m at the gym, I’m normally a bubbly, outgoing person. I go out of my way not to talk to anyone while I’m exercising, mostly because I’m tired as it is and prefer to focus on achieving my goals rather than making new friends. If you try to strike up a conversation longer than, “Are you using that machine?”, you’re not going to get the response you want.