Settling Down With Mr. Right Is Great, But It Has Its Downsides

Settling Down With Mr. Right Is Great, But It Has Its Downsides ©iStock/filadendron

The idea of eventually finding “The One” we can settle down and spend the rest of our lives with is the reason we keep putting ourselves out there, going on countless bad dates with crappy guys who usually end up ghosting us anyway. When you finally find Mr. Right, it’s totally different than you thought it would be. Is it still amazing to be so in love and in tune with someone? Yes. Do you sometimes miss being single? Definitely. In other words, settling down is great, but it has its downsides, too.

  1. You’ll get bored sometimes. How could you ever get bored being with the man you love? Yes, it happens, and yes, it’s normal. You spend every day with the same person. What did you think would happen? Sometimes, you’ll just want to go off with your friends and while you’re away, you can’t wait to be back with him.
  2. Compromise sucks. I think this is one of the worst parts. You get used to having things your way, then suddenly, you have to compromise to make someone else happy. Believe me when I say compromise doesn’t always work out so well, but it’s a necessary part of any successful relationship.
  3. You’ve got to get creative. That initial whirlwind romance dies quickly. You’re more in love than ever, but the passion kind of burns out. You’ve got to get creative to help keep the passion alive. It also helps keep you from getting too bored, so you should be up to the challenge.
  4. Sometimes you have to put him first. It’s the chance of a lifetime to see your favorite band, but you already promised your guy you’d go to whatever concert he wants. Sorry, but you promised. Sometimes you’ll have to give up what you want for him. Don’t worry, though — he has to do the same thing for you.
  5. There’s the good, the bad, and the very ugly. You see the good side of each other when you first start out. When you finally commit and stay together for a while, you start seeing some pretty ugly sides of each other. You’re together, so you don’t try as hard — not to mention, you’re sharing each other’s space, so you’ll see things you can never un-see.
  6. You’re off the market. Why is it you couldn’t find a decent date for ages, but when you finally commit to someone, suddenly it’s raining men? Switching your status to unavailable seems to make guys want you like never before. Guess what? You’re taken now, so you have to turn them down.
  7. Dates are over. Okay, so maybe date night isn’t completely over, but it’s not going to happen often. Instead, you’ll spend more nights in watching TV, cooking dinner and doing your own thing. It’ll make you miss the excitement of getting dressed up and doing something fun.
  8. Sex becomes more routine. It’s hard not to get into a routine when you commit to someone. You learn what he likes, and vice versa. Before long, it’s the same thing every time. You’ll both have to be willing to try new things and be more spontaneous. Somehow scheduling sex for one night each week doesn’t seem too thrilling.
  9. You’re added to the family. This could be good or bad, depending on your man’s family. If they’re wonderful, it’s a great thing. If they’re a pain in the ass, you’re screwed. You can’t have your guy without getting his family, too. I know, there should be some way around this, right?
  10. You stop trying so hard. At first, you try hard to look good and be at your best. You exercise, fix your hair, never let him see you without makeup, and even keep your gas to yourself. Commit and everything changes. Screw working out all the time. Who cares if you brushed your hair today? If he can fart, why can’t you? Face it, it’s kind of nice to stop trying so hard. Just don’t let yourself completely go or you’ll look in the mirror one day and wonder what the hell happened.
  11. You have to ask permission. Okay, don’t get your panties in a wad. I don’t care how independent you are, there are still going to be times that you  have to run things by your guy first. He’ll have to do the same thing. This is especially true if you’re living together and sharing a bank account. You can’t just go off whenever you want. You have to check with someone else now to see what’s going on. Sometimes it sucks, but it’s just part of that whole pesky commitment thing.
  12. Vulnerability isn’t optional. Have a hard time opening up? If you want to commit, you’ll have to get over that. You don’t have an option anymore. If you want the relationship to last, you have to be vulnerable sometimes. It’s scary, but worth it.

All this being said, committing to the right person makes all of this seem trivial. It takes work, but if you work together, you could turn into one of those old couples everyone envies.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.