My boyfriend and I took on a challenge to have sex for 3o days straight and it wasn’t quite the genius idea we thought it would be. While getting laid daily sounds like a good thing, it turned out to be a total nightmare.
It sounded like a good idea in theory. Deciding to have sex every day got my boyfriend and I very excited. We were having frequent sex at the time, but our busy lives often meant there were periods where we weren’t connecting in the bedroom and we wanted to see if committing to this challenge would spice up our relationship. What did we have to lose?
It was actually really hot for a while. At the onset of the challenge, we were having the time of our lives. We realized that there was never a time during our three-year relationship when we had quite so much sex. We were trying something new every day and that intensified everything. We took our lovemaking very seriously, to the point that we’d even prepare the room to set the mood with candles, roses, slow music, and even some costumes.
Eventually, we started to get really tired. When the novelty wore off, doing the deed became tiresome. We had to insert the sex into our schedule every day no matter how busy, stressed, or downright exhausted we were. Putting so much into the challenge the first week meant that by week two, our mojo was pretty much gone.
Sex started to seem like a chore. The sex was no longer natural. There was no build-up for it; sex seemed like something we had to do because we wanted to prove something to ourselves. The whole thing started to feel forced and we dreaded it rather than looking forward to it. We started to think we’d made a mistake by setting this challenge in the first place.
We shortened the foreplay then eventually skipped it altogether. Foreplay takes time and we just wanted to get it done and over with, even if it meant skipping out on this usually vital part of the sexual experience. We’d just go straight to the deed because that meant saving us both time and energy.
Our attraction to each other waned. The fire had run out. We only had one goal and that was to complete the challenge. There were no longer feelings involved and it was definitely obvious for the both of us. That became problematic because the passion usually present in our lovemaking was totally gone. We just wanted the challenge to be finished, no matter how agonizing it was becoming.
We started arguing about sex. It was inevitable that we’d end up fighting about the situation. We were talking less and less as the challenge progressed and when we did talk, it almost always turned into an argument. I complained that the sex no longer turned me on and he was upset that what he was giving me failed to live up to my expectations. Obviously my feelings had nothing to do with his performance but no matter how much I explained, he wouldn’t listen. This became a major issue that we argued about daily.
Soon enough, we started fighting about absolutely everything else too. All hell broke loose. Since he thought I no longer wanted to have sex with him, he thought I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him period. All of his bottled up issues that went as far back as the start of our relationship started coming out. I was shocked that he kept so many of his thoughts from me and angry that they only came out because of a sex challenge. Overwhelmed by emotions, I also started airing some of my grievances to him. Instead of understanding where the other person was coming from, we chose to shut each other out.
We realized at the end we wanted time off from each other. I was so glad the challenge was finished, but the damage it left our relationship was unspeakable. The first night we finished the challenge, I booked a hotel for myself because I needed a breather. I wasn’t just exhausted by the sex but by the relationship too and I needed to get away. My boyfriend didn’t bother to protest when I told him I wasn’t staying in the house for a couple of days; in fact, we agreed that we needed to spend time apart. Thankfully, that little bit of distance did help. When we saw each other again, we talked things through and we were able to patch things up. Our sex life went back to normal and we both agreed never to take on any crazy challenges again.
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