Does Sex On The First Date Mean You Won’t Become His Girlfriend?

You know sex on a first date doesn’t make you promiscuous, but will it prevent you from becoming his girlfriend? It really doesn’t have to. A 2016 study by Match found that a quarter of single people have turned a one-night-stand into a long-term relationship. Here’s how to make your first date romp go the distance.

  1. Get to know each other before the date. Although sex with someone you’ve just met can work, knowing someone for a while before your first date can be less awkward because you’ve already gone through the ‘getting to know each other’ questions. This will also make sex feel more like a natural progression.
  2. Have a connection outside the bedroom. Having a physical connection is obviously a must for great first date sex, but it won’t be enough to sustain a relationship. There has to be some greater connection and interest in each other that promises a second date on the cards.
  3. Don’t let sex mess with your mind. It’s not always easy to remain patient after a first date.Will he call? Will he ask you out again? Now add sex to the mix and you might find you’re even more anxious about whether or not he likes you enough to date you. The irony here is that impatience and insecurity can make you clingy, which is what will put the guy off you — not the fact that you had sex. The message? Don’t have first-date sex if you know it will screw with your emotions.
  4. Keep the mystery alive. Some guys and women say that they like the waiting period before sex, that delicious anticipation. But who says first-date sex has to kill the mystery? It might actually boost it. Just because you know what the guy looks like naked doesn’t mean there’s not much more to know about him. Gosh, there’s loads. If you’re interested in who he is and would love to discover more about him, the fact that you’ve already gone to bed with him shouldn’t change that (unless he did something really awful during sex, of course).
  5. Be 100 percent sure. If you’re sort of into the idea of sex on a first date or you just figure you’ll do it to increase your chance of him wanting to see you again, you might wreck a relationship from blooming. Do it because you want to, not because you think you should. If you’re both super keen and enjoy the sex, the whole experience will be much better all round – and will probably have both of you coming back for more.
  6. Use the opportunity to figure out if you’re compatible. Having sex on a first date helps you tell if you’re compatible between the sheets and not just over the dinner table. This increases your chances of making a relationship work because it shows that you’ve got lots of elements going for you. Of course, there’s always the risk that a great date doesn’t lead to great sex, in which case it’s also better to know you’re not sexually compatible up front so you don’t waste your time.
  7. Understand that sex can’t really ruin things. If you think first-date sex can make or break a relationship, then you’re giving it a lot of power it doesn’t deserve. He might not call you back after the first date that included sex, but he might not have called you back even if you kept your dress on. Once you understand this, you free yourself up to do what feels good for you.
  8. Trust your instincts. You can hear all the rules about why it’s good or bad to have sex on the first date, but when you’re in the moment you’ll want to do what feels right for you. No one can tell you why you feel a certain way, but if the idea of sex feels natural and healthy with this person, then go ahead and trust your gut to lead you… all the way to his bedroom.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.