Your Sex Life Might Be Good, But It Needs These Things To Truly Be Great

Technically, all you need to have sex are two willing people, but we all know that doesn’t mean it’ll be good. There are many factors that go into truly memorable lovemaking. These are some of the crucial ones:

  1. A sense of humor. It’s essential to life in general and especially to awesome sex. If you can’t laugh at sex, then you have some awkward times ahead. Weird stuff is going to go down whether you like it or not. It’s better to chuckle and move on than ruin the whole evening over it. If something’s funny, don’t pretend it isn’t. Use your mutual laughter to enhance the experience.
  2. A level of comfort. It’s difficult to have truly fulfilling sex with someone when you don’t feel at ease. This is why you should know them at least a little bit first. If you have a good rapport, your time between the sheets will definitely be more enjoyable. It gives both of you license to loosen up and express yourselves.
  3. A lack of inhibition. Great sex is never self-conscious or stilted. It’s hot and fun because the two of you go for it without thinking too hard. Do what you feel and you’ll have a great time. A willingness to explore with each other ups the quality of the experience. If the two of you are well-matched in this way, the sex will be unbelievably good.
  4. Patience. It sounds weird, but patience really is key. One of you might not get off in the same way as the other. One of you might take longer or have a harder time relaxing. This means that the partner who’s likely to finish more easily needs to slow it down so that both of you enjoy yourselves. Impatient sex is always bad sex, at least for one partner. It’s not very fair.
  5. An adventurous spirit. If nothing else, sex should be a glorious journey. You can’t take it too seriously and you have to be willing to play around a bit. If you’re just doing the same old boring stuff every time, how can you make it great? You honestly can’t. A sense of adventure is infectious in both the outside world and the bedroom. It allows for more self-expression.
  6. Selflessness. If both people are devoted to putting the other’s needs above their own, the sex will be mind-blowing. You’re both working to give the other person pleasure, so you both get it! It’s a win-win. When you take joy in giving someone else an awesome time, nothing can go wrong. There’s nothing sexy about a selfish partner. It doesn’t make for good sex… or good anything else.
  7. An open mind. It’s difficult to have good sex if either you or your partner are restricted and judgmental. If someone presents an idea that’s outside of the other person’s narrow comfort realm, it can make the evening very awkward very quickly. Keeping an open mind promotes that sense of adventure and fun and who knows? You might end up trying something and liking it.
  8. A safe space. It’s easier to relax and enjoy yourselves if you’re having sex in a comfortable environment for both of you. It’s best to establish some sort of communication beforehand so that you know you can trust each other not to push or force anything. The sex will be awesome if you can keep communicating and respect each other’s boundaries.
  9. An easygoing attitude. Nothing ruins sex faster than holding onto a resentment or a problem from either an earlier sex session or your interactions in general. The willingness to let something go will take you much further down the road to amazing sex. Don’t make a big deal out of it unless it truly is a big deal.
  10. The ability to be vulnerable. This isn’t necessary for good sex, but it’s definitely an essential element of great sex. You take it to another level when you can both truly open up to each other and create an environment of complete honesty. When the physical, mental and emotional all sync up, foreplay improves immensely and orgasms are way more intense. If you want to have the most awesome sex ever, develop a deeper connection with your partner.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at