Sexting Is So Awkward—I Don’t Know How People Do It

I know some people love sexting but I’m not one of them. In fact, I think it’s awkward AF. I don’t get the draw of it and I probably never will.

  1. When we meet up in person after sexting, it always feels weird. Sure, sexting is fun in the moment, but it’s just gonna make our meet-up in person weirder. Why would I voluntarily make our date more awkward than it already is? After pretending to be all “sexed up” through text, we’re now living out the aftermath of our poor decisions struggling to stay cool when we both know we’re just horny nerds who have no idea what they’re doing underneath it all. Ugh, can you say awkward?
  2. I don’t need my mom to accidentally see a guy’s sext on my phone. I can think of several times when I’ve looked at my friend’s phone when it rings and see a text from someone come up as a notification. Even if the phone is locked, I can still see what they wrote. I’m not about to set myself up for embarrassment and risk my friends and family seeing “are you wet rn?” pop up on my phone. Seriously, you NEVER know who’s looking over at your messages and that would just be horrifying if one of my relatives ever saw one of my sexts by accident.
  3. I could get blackmailed. It could be as easy as taking a screenshot of my sext, uploading it onto Facebook and then BAM, I’ve got my own social media scandal. I’ve heard stories of guys uploading their ex-girlfriend’s nude photos because they’re bitter about being dumped or whatever. That could easily happen to me with my sexts. Not gonna risk it.
  4. I know I’m not as sexy in real life as I am in text, so I don’t even try. The last thing I want to do is be inauthentic. Sure, it might be “cool” or “chill” to sext and all the cool girlfriends are doing it, but the thing is… I’m not a cool girlfriend and I think it’s actually cringy AF to pretend to have sex via text. I’m also really bad at it, so why try to be someone I’m not?
  5. Funny enough, it actually ends up turning guys off. Even though it’s the guy who usually asks for a sexting session when it’s all over I just KNOW that he thinks a little less of me. It’s the same feeling I get after hooking up with a guy. It’s almost like he’s disappointed that I was that easy when HE was the one who asked for it in the first place. Ugh, I really don’t understand guys, which is why I avoid sexting them at all costs.
  6. I would end up regretting it. Not only does the guy regret it, but I usually regret it too. I look back at my sexts and think, “What am I even doing?” I feel like I’m only doing it to appease the guy and not because it’s fun for me. It just doesn’t get me going and when it’s all over, just like an unwarranted hookup, I’m filled with regrets.
  7. I’m faking it. When I DO break down and sext him back, you better believe I’m using pre-written sexts from Google. I have no idea how being “sexy” works, let alone how to put it in writing. It’s basically like a chore for me. I’m even doing research for God’s sake! I don’t want to be fake to him so I’d rather not even do it.
  8. It’s no substitute for the real thing. Why sext when you can make plans to have actual sex in real life instead? Maybe it’s a guy thing cause sexting does nothing for me. I mean, yeah, I get how it’s kinda exciting in the moment, but when it’s over, it’s just you—alone, with no one to have REAL sex with. Seems like a pretty crappy situation to me…
  9. It’s such a waste of time. Seriously, these sexts take TIME. First of all, I have to make sure I’m alone (I can’t do it in front of my friends—they’ll definitely be able to tell what’s up). Secondly, I have to block off a good 20-30 minute chunk of time to do the deed, which is kind of crazy. Why am I wasting time having fake sex? I can’t help but feel silly doing it. It’s not really my idea of a good time.
  10. I don’t want him to think he can actually do these things to me. So I’m giving this guy all these hypothetical, imagined scenarios of what I want him to do to me, but I don’t want him to think that me saying these things means that I want to do these activities in real life. Most of my sexual fantasies I have, I’d like to keep as just that—fantasies. Sometimes that’s all they’re meant to be and that’s totally fine. I just don’t want the guy I’m texting to get overly excited and think that our sex life is going to be shot to new levels just because we sexted it.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.