Ever felt a little guilty for fantasizing about a celebrity during sex with your partner or thought that your fantasy of being dominated in bed is unhealthy? Wrong! According to the Kinsey Institute, people who allow themselves to fantasize have the least amount of sexual problems and are more satisfied with their sex lives. Here are 12 common sexual fantasies you shouldn’t feel weird or awkward about at all.
Being submissive Okay, who hasn’t imagined being with Christian Grey and seeing his whip? Imagining yourself playing a passive role during sex can be a turn on because the guy controls everything. No, this doesn’t make you a bad feminist! The appeal is all about having intimacy without any risk. Fantasizing about your own Christian Grey or being submissive sex in general is really a way to enjoy sex free of inhibitions and not having to worry about the morning after, STIs, pregnancy, or other real-life stress.
Being a stripper Yup, according to a survey by SimplySxy, a magazine about sex and sexuality, “being a stripper for one night” is the most common sexual fantasy for women. It’s all about being watched that’s such a turn-on. And in case you’re wondering, the top fantasy for men was having a threesome.
Being somewhere else You love the romantic mood your partner’s created for your sex session but you dream of being somewhere else, perhaps in a fancier location or on a deserted beach. You’re not alone: 80% of women in a survey published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine imagine themselves in a romantic, beautiful location during sexual fantasies. Hmm, perhaps the real need is to have more romance in your relationship or feel pampered AF every now and then?
Having hot sex with a stranger This is such a sexy fantasy because it gives you a chance to mentally let go of your inhibitions. Maybe you never have one-night stands or stranger sex in real life but fantasize about them because they’re so far out of your comfort zone. It’s thrilling!
Sex with a celebrity A study of 2,000 UK adults found that 11% of women fantasize about sex with a celebrity during self-pleasure. Stars who feature the most included Orlando Bloom, Tom Hardy, and Chris Evans. Hey, whatever gets you to have an amazing solo sex session is worth it, and it’s no insult to your partner.
Sex with another woman Fantasizing about sex with another woman doesn’t make you a lesbian. If you’re dreaming up something you wouldn’t actually do in real life, this is what makes it feel forbidden and juicy. The result is greater arousal.
Sex with an ex As long as you’re not texting him after fantasizing about him, dreaming of your ex is fine. 60% of men and women have thought about previous lovers, with 15% doing so regularly. Sexual fantasies are a safe way to explore feelings about your ex and act out sex with him without making your real life complicated AF.
Rape fantasies Fantasies about being forced to have sex might make you feel uneasy, but they’re actually really normal. Various studies have found that 90% of women have had these fantasies and they’re certainly not an indication that you want to be assaulted in real life! These fantasies can actually be a way to deal with any guilt or shame over sex because control is taken away from you. Interestingly, they can make sex feel less stressful.
Sex in a public place Having sex in public where you might be seen by someone can feel risky and exciting. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 57.3% of women have fantasized about public sex. Maybe you’re turned on by the idea of people watching you, which in fantasies can make you feel confident AF instead of self-conscious.
Sex with more than one person You might not be into the idea of threesomes or orgies, but maybe you dream about them, and that’s okay. Research by the University of Quebec at Trois-Rivières found that 56.5% of women entertained fantasies about having sex with more than three people, both women and men.
Sex with a neighbor Maybe you’ve seen your sexy neighbor around and he’s so hot, you can’t help but imagine what it would be like to have sex with him, especially when he mows the lawn without a shirt on or says “hey” over the fence. This fantasy is more common than you think! According to a survey by extramarital dating site Gleenden, 62% of women have fantasized about cheating with a neighbor. Relax, it’s not like you’d do it.
Sex with a friend or colleague Fantasizing about another man during sex with your partner is really common. A survey by Lovehoney, the largest online sex toy brand in the UK, asked 1,300 people about their sexual fantasies and found that 46% of women fantasize about other men during sex with their partners (FYI: 42% of men do it too). These fantasies tend to be about colleagues or close friends. But don’t feel guilty unless you actually want to go through with it—which is, actually, what 30% of women in the survey confessed. Hmmm.
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