Girl friends deserve all the love they get, but having a great platonic connection with a man is criminally underrated. They’re funny, give great advice, and are just awesome to be around. You might enjoy his company so much that you begin to ask yourself, “Should I date my best guy friend?” As tempting as it may be, you might want to think twice before shifting the relationship.
The short answer
Generally speaking, you guy friend is a friend for a reason: You’re not meant to date. While it’s true that every great romantic relationship has a strong friendship at its core, don’t get it twisted. Your platonic connection works so well because there’s no sex involved. The stakes are much lower and your heart is much safer. You get to enjoy the benefit of his company without worrying about him breaking your heart.
Of course, if you have deep, real feelings for him that are deniable, don’t ignore them. While it might not be advisable to date your best guy friend, but you do need to address what’s going on in your heart. Only you know what’s right for you. However, there are many reasons to steer clear of getting romantic with your best bro.
Why you shouldn’t date your best guy friend
- He flirts with you when he’s in a relationship. We know this kind of treatment can make you feel special. That’s especially true given the close relationship you have with him. However, if being in a relationship isn’t enough to deter him from flirting with you, stop and think. He’s probably going to flirt with other women if you two end up together, too.
- He openly disapproves of everyone you date. This type of jealousy can come across as being cute at first. It’s also one of the first signs that he might think of you as more than a friend. The problem is that he’s showing this kind of jealousy before you’re even dating. That means it’s going to be much worse once you two end up in an actual relationship. At that point, it’s going to stop being cute.
- He treats you like a “bro.” It can be fun to be treated like one of the boys when the boys are your friends. However, once you start dating one, it can make the vibe between a little weird. That transition from “bro” to “girlfriend” is often a bumpy ride. It might be a while before you feel like you’re in a real relationship instead of a bromance.
- You’re not actually all that attracted to him. Maybe dating him seems like a good idea on the surface. After all, you two get along great. He clearly wants to date you. Plus, you already know all of each other’s best and worst qualities. Sadly, none of that will matter if you’re not attracted to him. Even if he’s your best friend, the same basic relationship rules still apply. This means that you shouldn’t date him if your heart isn’t in it.
- He’s vented to you about his previous girlfriends. This might have made you feel good at the time. After all, we all love being the person our friends come to for help. But, don’t be fooled into thinking this behavior of his is going to stop when you start going out with him. Instead, you’ll be the girlfriend he’s venting to other people about. Do you really want all your relationship problems to become common knowledge to his other female friends?
- All of those ex-girlfriends were “nuts,” by the way. If, according to him, he’s never dated a woman who didn’t turn out to be the worst person ever, do you really think the women are the ones causing problems in his relationships? Even if he’s your bestie, a guy who has such negative things to say about everyone he dates is probably a crappy boyfriend. If you date him, you’ll probably be filed into that unstable category with the rest of them when you inevitably get tired of his BS.
- You almost see him like family. Even harder to get over than the “bro” vibe is the “brother” vibe. Again, dating someone you’re this close to might seem like a no-brainer. However, there comes a point in which you’re a little too close to a guy to make dating him a smart choice. If you see him the same way you’d see a sibling or cousin, it’s going to be more than a little awkward when you guys start having sex.
- He’s frequently prioritized you over his previous girlfriends. If he’s canceled dates to hang out with you or ignored his girlfriend when she’s asked him to tone down the always-together nature of your relationship, that’s not a sign of a good friend. It’s a sign of a bad boyfriend. No one should ditch their friends for their partner, but ask yourself how you’d feel if your boyfriend was hanging out with another woman more than he was hanging out with you. Then, get ready to accept it as inevitable when you become his girlfriend.
- He’s almost always in a relationship. If your buddy has a reputation for bouncing from girlfriend to girlfriend, then being chosen as the woman he wants to date doesn’t mean he’s always been secretly in love with you — it means you’re just next in line. Some people just have no idea how to be single, and if he’s one of them, you’d better be prepared to potentially sacrifice your friendship with him when you break up and he almost immediately moves on to someone else.
- He’s protective of you when you’re in a relationship. He’s threatened to kick your former boyfriends’ butts if they did you wrong… and possibly delivered on those threats. So manly and protective, right? Eh, more like so terrifying and possessive. This type of guy might be romanticized in movies and literature, but in real life, he’s not someone you want to date. What happens if he gets a “bad vibe” from one of your male coworkers or doesn’t like the way a stranger was checking out how hot you look in your new dress? Are you willing to risk your job, friendships, and even your own safety because this guy essentially views you as his property when you become his girlfriend?