Should You Still Date Someone Even If You Know The Relationship Has An Expiry Date?

You’ve met someone awesome but there’s a catch: they’re leaving the state/country within the next six months. Should you still pursue a relationship with them? There are pros and cons, so let’s check them out.

  1. You should live in the moment… What if this romance isn’t meant to last forever but it’s amazing while it lasts and leaves a mark on your life forever? It would be sad to miss out on it.
  2. … But not if you’re not up for it. It’s not always easy to relax and go with the flow. Maybe you’re just not cut out for that, and that’s fine. You shouldn’t force yourself to try to be okay with the situation if you’re not going to be able to send your anxiety packing.
  3. You never know what could happen… Even if they’re planning to leave the country, it doesn’t mean that this will definitely happen. Life is full of surprises. What if your relationship is stronger than anything life throws at it? Imagine if you lost a chance with them only to find out that something awesome and long-lasting could have occurred?
  4. … But you shouldn’t try to fix them. Although it’s good to have a “What if?” mindset, such as “What if they end up staying?” you shouldn’t try to fix the person or the situation. For example, no matter how much you love them it doesn’t always mean that they’ll change their plans, especially if they’re keen on chasing their dreams.
  5. It might be a filler romance… You know the type: you’ve been single for a while since your last relationship when a romance blooms in your life but it just fills a time gap in your life. Perhaps it teaches you to get your groove back or it helps you regain your self-love. Whatever its purpose, you just have fun but know that it can’t last forever. That being said, what you learn from it does.
  6. … But you shouldn’t force it to be anything. In the same way that a holiday fling is sometimes nothing more than that, you should let this romance run its course and see what happens with it. It might go somewhere unexpected but it might not and it’s important to consider both alternatives so you don’t end up disappointed. Let life handle some of the stress.
  7. It might turn out to be a lifelong friendship…¬†Not everyone we feel a connection with becomes our soulmate. Maybe your relationship with this person will end, but who knows? You might get something like a friendship out of it.
  8. … But you shouldn’t bring expectations into it. If you know the relationship has an expiry date on it, the worst thing you can do is expect it to be something that you want but which it might never be. It’s unfair on the person who’s been open about the relationship coming to an end if you walk around expecting them to act like your boyfriend and girlfriend, and it’s equally unfair on yourself.
  9. It might waste your time… Sometimes we glamorize the idea of short-lived romances when sadly, they just turn out to be a huge waste of our time! Maybe during the time that you were with this person you could have found someone else who wasn’t going to have to end things for whatever reason. That’s something worth bearing in mind before you proceed.
  10. It might limit you. If you have a lot of love to give, you might feel like you’re being censored in this situation. For example, if the person you’re dating knows that the relationship will end within a few weeks or months, they probably won’t allow their feelings to enter the picture. You’ll have to do the same. It makes sense, but it can feel like you’re cheating yourself out of a grand love.
  11. It’s good to keep your head screwed on. No matter how exciting the relationship might feel when it begins, it’s always a good idea to make sure you go in with your head, not just your heart. The minute it feels like it’s wasting your time or making you feel like you can’t get what you want out of it, then it’s best to cut your ties and move on. If you just don’t think it’s good or healthy for you, staying in it for a few weeks or months is way too long.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.