The first love is like no other. It awakens new feelings in us, some of which will be repeated many times and some of which will never be felt again. While the love can be great, the breakups can be pretty sensational, so sometimes it’s tempting to shove those experiences under the rug and leave them there. However, here are some reasons you totally shouldn’t forget about your first love.
There’s nothing wrong with loving.
Even if your first love went down in a fiery ball of flames, you should celebrate the fact that it happened to begin with. Loving is one of the bravest things that we can do and it doesn’t take anything away from us to do it.
He taught you what you DON’T want.
If you’re not with him, there’s something there you don’t need. If you initiated the breakup then you know exactly why you needed to do it. And if he dumped you, then you learned that you don’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t cherish you, duh!
He helped you figure out what you DO want.
Obviously there were some good things about him if you were in love with him at one point. Focus on those qualities as something to look for in the next person, not fixate on the fact that you lost them in him.
You know love is possible.
Hey, some people spend a whole lot of their life looking forward to the first time that they’ll get to experience those loving feelings. Some people have to wait so long that they wonder whether it’s possible at all! You already know it is, which is proof that it can happen again. You are lovable, girl.
It’s not really possible to forget him.
According to Psychology Today, we elevate our first loves in our minds simply because they were the first. It can make the competition a little stiffer, but if you can know and accept that science says that’s normal, you can stop worrying that it’s your heart wanting him back. It’s just something in your brain.
Memories aren’t a bad thing.
Cherishing fond memories is actually good for you. Nostalgia can create optimism and make you less anxious about the future, according to research done at the University of Southampton. Just try to focus on the good parts and you’re good to go.
It’s not a threat to your other relationships.
Unless you’re hanging out with your first love everyday and in denial about your ongoing feelings, having a love in the past isn’t going to pose a threat to your future relationships. If anything, it can strengthen them because you’ve already been through this.
You already made it through a lot of firsts.
Firsts are fun, but they can also be a little scary and stressful. If you survived your first relationship, you probably already survived a whole lot of firsts, so you know how that all goes down. Think of it like Driver’s Ed. Driving was thrilling – you’d never forget the experience of getting behind the wheel the first few times. But then you learn what you’re doing and cruise because you only handle so much excitement in a day.
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