Why You Shouldn’t Be Looking For Your “Other Half”

Why You Shouldn’t Be Looking For Your “Other Half” ©iStock/PointImages

Most people see dating as a means to an end. We put ourselves out there, go on dates we aren’t necessarily that interested in, and make ourselves vulnerable because we’re looking for love. That one person that makes our lives better. But calling that person you haven’t met yet your “other half” is a mistake that implies you’re incomplete all on your own. And that’s definitely not the case, right?

  1. No one can complete you. You can’t expect someone else to swoop in and make you happy. No one knows what you want and need better than you do, so sorry to break it to you, it’s up to you to make yourself the person you want to be.
  2. You can’t complete anyone else. You’re way more than just the missing piece of the puzzle in someone else’s life. You deserve more than half a person because you have more than that to offer. You’re looking for a complete person, so you have to be complete yourself.
  3. There will always be something missing. Even if you do find that person that seems to fit into your life seamlessly and make it a million times better, you’ll probably never shake the feeling that you forgot something. It’s you. You forgot to figure out who you were on your own before you settled into being one half of a whole.
  4. What if you lose them? Finding that perfect person for you doesn’t mean you’ll always have them. Things happen. Relationships end, and sometimes that’s for the best. That break up will be a lot harder if you consider yourself incomplete without them.
  5. You’re selling yourself short. You’ve survived this long without that elusive “other half” so what makes you think who you are isn’t good enough? You should probably start giving yourself a little more credit, because you deserve it.
  6. You’ll probably fall in love multiple times. There are billions of people in the world. Do you really think there’s only one perfect person out there for you? That might seem romantic at first, but if you think about it’s actually kind of depressing. There are plenty of people out there you could fall in love with, and they can’t all be your “other half”
  7. You’re setting the bar pretty high. “Other half” implies you’re looking for someone that is an exact mirror image of you. Is that really what you want? Because chances are no one is going to fit into your idea of the perfect boyfriend that seamlessly.
  8. You probably don’t know what’s perfect for you until you find it. You probably have an idea of the type of person you want to end up with. But it’s not like you can create the perfect guy in a lab and make him fall in love with you. People are complicated, and sometimes you end up falling for someone you never expected.
  9. Relationships are harder than that. Believing that everything will happen effortlessly as soon as you meet the right person is actually holding you back. Making a relationship work is work. Just because things get hard sometimes doesn’t mean that person is wrong for you, so don’t give up just because they don’t always fit your idea of your “other half”.
  10. People change. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is perfect. That’s what gets you through the hard times later. But sometimes people change, and suddenly you aren’t as compatible as you used to be. Someone you thought was your “other half” at one point might not be anymore, and then where do you go from there?
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.