You Shouldn’t Have To Play Detective When Dating

Your boyfriend should be your best friend — not someone that you feel the need to constantly check up on. If you’re treating him like a criminal by watching his every move and waiting for him to mess up, then you’re smack dab in the middle of an unhealthy relationship.

  1. Guys aren’t as complicated as they seem.You don’t have to analyze every text he sends to figure out what he was subconsciously trying to tell you. Take his words at face value. Nine out of ten times, what he said was exactly what he meant.
  2. You shouldn’t date someone you expect to cheat.You shouldn’t have to search through his phone and follow him around to see if he’s hooking up with another girl. You should trust him to remain loyal. If you have to invade his privacy to feel secure in the relationship, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship at all.
  3. A good guy won’t hide anything from you.If you’re dating the right one for you, he’ll tell you about everything, even his embarrassing moments and deep dark secrets. He’ll actually want to let you in, because it’ll bring you two closer together.
  4. Love isn’t a game, so don’t make it one.Don’t make dating harder than it has to be. If you want to know something about him, just ask him. There’s no reason to snoop around to find your answer when you could just have a simple conversation.
  5. You won’t have anything to talk about.Don’t do too much research him before you go out with him. If you already know his favorite movies, his best friends’ names, and what he did on his last summer vacation, what are you two going to have left to talk about?
  6. You’ll lose his trust.If he realizes that you’ve been checking up on him, because you don’t trust him, then he’ll stop trusting you. It’s a vicious cycle you don’t want to start.
  7. You wouldn’t want him to spy on you.How would you feel if you found out your partner was picking up your phone behind your back to see who you were texting? You wouldn’t be all that happy, so don’t treat him like a cheater when he’s done nothing to earn that title. It’s disrespectful.
  8. He’ll tell you when he’s ready.Some people take a while to open up. If you’ve just started dating, he might want to wait a few months to admit that he’s been cheated on before or that his parents are alcoholics. Give him some time.
  9. Some secrets should remain a secret.You can’t blame him for keeping a friend’s secret, because it isn’t his information to spill. You don’t want to read through his texts and discover something you have no business knowing.
  10. Healthy relationships are built on trust.If you can’t trust him, then why are you with him? Trust is just as important as love, which means you can’t have a healthy relationship without it.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.