I’m Sick Of Being Called “Overly Emotional” Just Because I Care

Crazy, emotional, irrational — I’ve been called all that and then some by guys over the years. I suppose they found it easier to write me off as a basket case rather than deal with why I might be feeling the way I was at the time, but that doesn’t make it true. Emotions aren’t a weakness and expressing them doesn’t make me crazy. I’m not overly emotional, I just give a damn. Isn’t that a good thing?

  1. Pegging me as dramatic is just brushing off my feelings. That doesn’t make them go away, though. The more you try to bottle them up the more frustration I want to release. You expect me to just sit by and say nothing when I’m upset, hurt, or angry. Maybe you can reject your emotions but I can’t.
  2. Hurting me should matter to you. If your actions hurt me, how on earth could you not care? What kind of sadistic love is that? The problem isn’t that I care too much; perhaps the problem is that maybe you don’t care enough, maybe not even at all. My feelings, whether they’re bad or good, should matter and if they don’t then it’s obvious that I don’t matter to you.
  3. Women aren’t afraid of their emotions. I know that men can scare easy when it comes to feelings, but that’s your weakness, not mine. That’s your cross to bear and your bridge to get over. I’m not going to change myself or give up my emotions just to make things easier for you. You’re the one who needs to learn how to deal because my emotions are just fine.
  4. You can’t turn the tables. You can try to tell me that I’m “just being over-emotional” or that it’s “not that big of a deal,” but I’m not falling for your underwhelmed reaction to my anger with you. You can try to put me in check, but I refuse to check my feelings at the door. I’m not overreacting to anything, so I’ll never believe that I’m the one with the problem here.
  5. I’m not crazy. I know that’s a trick some guys use to get away with their poor choices, but that’s not going to work on me. I’m perfectly sane and that’s why I know that your actions are a betrayal. That’s why I call you out on your BS. A crazy person would just let you sit by and take advantage of her. So find yourself a real crazy girl, because I won’t stand for it.
  6. When it comes to love you’re supposed to care. Labeling my emotions as crazy tells me that you don’t really care about me. You don’t care enough to even attempt to understand how I feel. Even worse, the more I care about you and how your actions affect me, the less you seem to care. I’m emotional because I care, and you’re apathetic because you don’t.
  7. I want a man who loves me the way I deserve. Love should feel good, but when you belittled my feelings or act like they’re crazy or unrealistic, it hurts like hell. I deserve a guy who listens, who wants to know why I’m hurting and what he can do to make it stop. Anything less than that is less than I deserve.
  8. I’m won’t be ashamed of my feelings. I refuse to let anyone make me feel like my feelings are worthless, like I’m worthless. If I give into that idea then I’ll lose sight of who I am. I’m not ashamed to be happy, angry, or sad and I don’t need those feelings to be validated by you or anyone else.
  9. I have every right to be angry when a guy hurts me. When you say that I’m just being over-emotional, you’re trying to sweep away my anger. You want to brush my feelings under the rug because it’s easier than having to confront the fact that you’ve done something wrong. It’s not about how I feel. It’s about what you want, and what you want is to not have to deal with me.
  10. Emotional and irrational are not the same things. It seems like that’s how you want me to feel, though — as if my emotions make me weak. You think that I’m illogical because I try to express myself? Because I react to your actions? The only illogical thing here is you thinking a relationship is possible without emotions. The only irrational part is you persecuting me because I care.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.