Be honest—how many times have you dated a guy you were less than thrilled about but that you justified staying with because “it could be worse” or “he’s not that bad“? Probably too many times to count. You deserve better than mediocrity, so if that’s all you ever end up with, it may be time to change your approach.
You get what you accept. More often than not in life and in love, you get what you put up with. If you allow a toxic, manipulative guy in your life, he’ll be all too pleased to stay there and make it a living hell. If you put up with a dude who’s nice enough but pretty lazy in the relationship and who doesn’t put in much effort, guess what—that’s all you’ll ever get from him.
It’s time to raise the bar. Having standards and expectations doesn’t have to be a negative thing; no one’s saying you should hold guys to impossible standards or even ones that you wouldn’t be willing and able to meet yourself. However, you should value yourself enough to be certain of what you deserve: a guy who’s fully invested, who gives a damn, and who willingly makes you a priority.
Yeah, it could be worse, but it could also be better. Every time you tell yourself that a guy is OK and that being with him despite his flaws is OK because hey, at least he doesn’t cheat on you or hit you or whatever, you’re diminishing yourself a little more. Could it be worse? Sure, but it could also be a hell of a lot better, so why are you settling for mediocrity?
You’re not that desperate, right? Seriously, you’re leading an amazing life. You have awesome friends, you’re working to build a killer career or already have one, and you have tons of hobbies you’re passionate about. You definitely don’t need a guy, so why hang onto one who’s not up to par? Exactly.
It’s about self-respect. There’s nothing wrong with setting the bar a little higher for the guys you date. Presumably they’re doing the same—or at least they should be. Having standards and expectations, so long as they’re reasonable, is a good thing because it means you love and respect yourself enough to avoid accepting things and people into your life that don’t treat you with that same love and respect.
You deserve the very best—go out and get it. It may take a while, but hold out for someone who’s on your level, who puts in the effort every day to remain a valuable part of your life. Offer that person the same in return and you’ll finally see that “good enough” really isn’t.
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