Everything in the media tells women that we’re terrible at reading guys’ signs. We never know when they’re into us or when they just want to be friends. At least, that’s what our culture tells us. But is that stereotype actually true? Perhaps your woman’s intuition is right on the money when it comes to your guy’s sexual urges. He’s been flirting with you and ready for more, and not just being friendly. Here are some signs a guy is turned on and ready to jump your bones.
- His eyes linger. Normally his eye contact is pretty direct, but when a guy is turned on, no part of your body is off-limits. His eyes will linger on any exposed skin, like that delicate place along your collar bone or at the hem of your skirt. If he’s thinking about making a move, his eyes will stay longer on your mouth. Think of his gaze like a compass needle. Wherever he’s looking is exactly where he wants to go. If you spot this, you can practically read his mind.
- His attention is on his own mouth. Not only is he focused on your mouth, but he’s subconsciously doing things with his own. Perhaps he’s licking or biting his lips more than normal. This is especially the case if he’s planning on kissing you. If he breaks out the lip balm, it’s time to get ready for an epic kiss.
- He finds any excuse to touch you. Just like his gaze telegraphs what he wants to do, so do his hands. His hands will wander all over you, especially on those exposed bits of skin. If he’s a gentleman, he’ll of course keep the touches PG-13 at most until it’s clear that both of you are on the same page. But if he manages to maneuver through an entire evening while never taking a hand away from you, you can bet good money that he wants to get in your pants. This has to be one of the most obvious signs a guy is turned on.
- His speech has slowed. His speech has gotten lazy and sensual. It’s almost as if all time around you has slowed and you’re both focused on this one hot moment. Newsflash: This is his bedroom voice. You can bet you’ll get more of this once you bring things to the next level. If you find it sexy, you’re in for a treat.
- His voice has gotten deeper. Not only will his voice slow, but it might also get deeper. There are some men who do this on purpose as a way to show their interest or turn you on. It can also be a subconscious voice change. If the deepness of his voice is also accompanied by a gruff whisper in your ear, oh girl, he’s very turned on right now.
- He’s smoldering. Have a look at his eyes. While they may be lingering on other parts of your body, how does it feel when you make and hold eye contact? Men can say a lot with a simple look. A sexy, smoldering look will make you feel a zip of excitement and adrenaline along your spine. Those eyes don’t lie, and neither do the goosebumps that are now popping up on your arms and back.
- He keeps shifting in his seat. This body language clue is two-fold and one of the biggest signs he’s turned on. First, he’ll be shifting and antsy because of his desire to skip all the pretense and go for what he wants: You. He keeps having to hold himself back from pouncing. The other major clue here is the discomfort he might be feeling in a very literal, physical sense. If he’s especially turned on right now, he’s got an erection that he may be anxious to conceal.
- He blushes if you ask. Bring up sex or being turned on and watch his reaction. You could even be blunt and ask, sweetly, “are you turned on right now?” The redder he gets, the more you can be certain that your body has been on his mind. Of course, only ask a question this boldly if you’re down to get down.
- You notice him getting a little… excited. Hey, it happens to the best guys, and not just when they’re experiencing puberty. If the mood is getting hot and heavy, he may need to hold onto a pillow or hide behind a table or something. His anatomy can’t lie about how he’s feeling if you get my drift.
- You can just tell. Remember your woman’s intuition? If you’ve got a general vibe that this guy is super turned on by you right now, you’re probably right. Don’t ignore that feeling deep down inside. Even if you can’t name exactly why, there’s something about you that gets the social interaction you’re in right now. Go with it and make a move to see just how right you are.
- He tells you straight-up. Not all guys are down to be so bold and up-front, but if you’ve found one of the brave ones, you’ll never have to wonder what’s on his mind. He takes the lead and tells you, without prompting, what he wants to do with you. This kind of guy likely has some exciting talk planned for you once you get into the bedroom as well. Score!
What to do when a guy is turned on but you’re not feeling it
Even if you like a guy and you’re actually dating, you may not be in a place where you want to sleep with him. Or, maybe you do want to sleep with him but you don’t think it would be a good idea. Here’s how to slow things down a bit.
- Change the subject. If you’ve picked up on the signs a guy is turned on but you don’t want it to go any further, the best thing you can do is avoid all talk of anything sexual. If things are getting hot and heavy, find a way to distract him from it and refocus your attention on something that’s not hot at all. While he might be shocked by the quick turn of events, it’s unlikely he’ll be able to concentrate on hooking up like he was before.
- Talk to him about it. If you’re really into him but you just don’t feel ready to take things to that level yet, be honest with him. The basis of all healthy relationships is good communication, so set a good precedent now by telling him how you’re feeling. Let him know that you love how hot you make him but that you’d rather wait for a better time. Whatever you’re feeling, tell him. If he doesn’t take it well and gets weird, he obviously wasn’t worth your time anyway.
- Find other ways of exploring each other. If he’s displaying all the signs of a guy who’s really turned on, who’s to say you can’t still have some fun? Maybe you don’t want to go all the way for P in V action, but you’re still open to enjoying and exploring each other’s bodies in other ways. That’s great! Sometimes that can even be better than the actual act anyway.
- Assure him how attracted you are to him. For some reason, guys tend to assume that if you don’t want to sleep with them, it’s because you don’t like them or find them attractive. That’s not the case! Let him know that you’re actually really into them and your decision to wait a bit to have sex actually has nothing to do with him — it’s about you. Take a bit of time to boost his ego here. He probably needs it.