You and your boyfriend are attached at the hip, it feels like, and you spend a good portion of your time together. While it’s totally natural to want to be around the person you like, especially at the beginning of a new relationship, there is a limit. You need to have your own lives outside of the relationship if you want it to go the long haul. If you notice any of these signs that you’re turning into a clingy girlfriend, it’s time to stop and reassess.
- Whenever you’re not together, you text or call him constantly. He goes out with his friends or decides to hit the gym for a few hours and you just can’t bear it. You might not come right out and ask him when he’s coming home or what he’s doing, but you make sure to insert your presence into every moment he shares with someone else. Get it together! When he’s out doing something else, let him be out – you do your own thing for a while. It may not be easy at first to distract yourself with, you know, your own life, but soon it’ll become commonplace and it’ll be so much better for your relationship.
- You’re jealous of his female friends and colleagues. Whenever he mentions a female friend (who he’s had since before you even started dating, I should mention) or a colleague who happens to be a woman, your hackles go up and you get jealous out of nowhere. Even when there’s zero romantic context — and let’s be honest, there never is — you can’t help but let your mind run wild about how he’s going to cheat on you and leave you for her, etc. Danger zone! When you feel yourself going off the deep end about literally any other woman he interacts with, take a deep breath. Remember that it’s you he’s chosen to be with. Unless he actually gives you a reason to be suspicious, don’t be.
- You struggle when he goes out with his friends. This is one of the biggest signs of a clingy girlfriend ever. Similar to the above, it’s not just that you text or call him all the time when he’s not with you, but guys’ night is always particularly difficult for you. You’ve seen far too many TV shows and movies and think you know what goes on during these times: all the guys forget they have girlfriends and go buck wild cheating, drinking, and generally betraying you and your relationship in every way. You’re losing it, woman! You have friends, so why shouldn’t he? Your life should be full enough that your boyfriend making other plans shouldn’t be an issue because guess what – you’ve got plans too!
- You won’t stop posting about him on social media. It’s great to share a cute couple selfie on your Insta feed every once in a while, if your entire timeline is wall-to-wall pictures of the two of you, you need to take a break. Who are you trying to convince about your relationship happiness? Who do you need to prove something to? Yes, everyone knows you have a boyfriend. Now cool it. Your social media feed should be all about you and your life. Your boyfriend is a part of that life, not the whole thing (or at least he shouldn’t be).
- You want his attention all the time. When he wants to play video games or lift some weights for a while, you get a ‘tude. You believe that when you’re together, his attention should be on you 24/7 and when it’s not, you really don’t like it. What the hell? If you can’t deal with the fact that he has a life and he’s not going to just give it up to make you happy, then you’re probably not mature enough to be in a relationship.
- You don’t think he loves you as much as you love him. Your boyfriend has given you zero indication that he’s not 100% into you and your relationship, but you still feel like you’re giving more than he is and that you care more than he does. This, in turn, makes you needy and clingy, which isn’t a good luck. If you’re trying to push him away, this is the perfect way to do it. If you really can’t self-soothe on this topic, you may need to seek some professional help.