12 Signs Your Date Isn’t Going Well Even If You Think It Is

First dates can be tricky. You might not know for sure if the guy’s having a good time or not. In addition, you’re probably a bag of nerves, making it tough to read the signs he’s sending you. If you notice any of these, things aren’t going very well at all.

  1. He’s talking a lot. A guy who talks a lot could just be nervous, or he could be trying to rush through the date so he doesn’t have to invest any time in you. On the other hand, he could be arrogant, which means you wouldn’t want to be with him anyway.
  2. He takes a long time in the bathroom. If he takes so long in there that you’re starting to worry he’s passed out or has climbed out of the window, that’s a bad sign. He might be wasting time or he could use how long he was away as an excuse when he returns. For instance, he might say, “Sorry, my buddy phoned me when I was in the bathroom. There’s been an emergency and I have to go.”
  3. He seems anxious. There’s normal date anxiety, and then there’s that fidgeting and restlessness that’s a totally different monster. It usually points to a guy who can’t seem to end the date fast enough.
  4. He creates space between you. This could be done in subtle ways, but it’s worth keeping an eye out for. He might move his chair back so that he’s further away from you or he might point his body in a totally different direction. This also gives the impression that he doesn’t want to get comfortable because he’s keen to go home.
  5. He’s drinking a lot. Yes, you met for drinks, but that doesn’t mean he should be throwing back the shots like they’re going out of fashion. If he has to be drunk to get through your first date, that’s not a good sign at all.
  6.  He’s super quiet. He might be shy, but even the shyest guy will want to know more about you if he’s interested. Plus, he’ll want to make the most of the date. If you’re doing all the talking and there are long silences between you that he just doesn’t seem too bothered to fill, those are bad signs.
  7. He gives you one-word answers. Linked to the point about how a guy who’s not interested isn’t going to make an effort to keep the conversation going is Mr. One-Word Answer. Instead of asking you follow-up questions when you mention something that happened at work or your dreams to travel the world, he just says, “OK” or “Cool.”
  8. He doesn’t share. You might tell him more about yourself and your work, but when you turn the spotlight onto him, he just gives you general info about his life without going deep. So, he might tell you that he works as a writer, but then he won’t tell you how he got into the line of work or why he loves it. He’s clearly not interested in revealing who he really is to you.
  9. He has loads of excuses. If he keeps apologizing for lots of things, like why he ran late or why he can’t stay long, that’s a sign that he’s trying to seem like the nice guy but also give you the hint that he’s just not making your date a priority. He’s certainly not interested in a second one, either.
  10. He doesn’t order anything, even though it’s dinner. Yikes. So via text the guy made it clear that he wanted to have dinner with you. But now that you’re on your date, he only wants to order a water or fruit juice to drink. Clearly he doesn’t want to be tied down with food or spend a lot of time with you. Even more telling the date is going badly is if he tells the waiter that you’re only having something to drink without first chatting to you about it.
  11. You have to ask if he’s having a good time. You shouldn’t have to feel the need to ask him if he’s enjoying himself. You should have a good feeling that he is. But if he seems so difficult to read or he’s not giving anything away, that in itself tells you that he’s not having fun.
  12. He’s super-negative. Seriously, this guy is acting like every single thing in the world is wrong or out to get him. Although lots of complaining usually points to a guy who’s negative in general, it can also be a sign that he’s trying to put you off by being the opposite of a fountain of joy. Ugh.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.